How to Fall Apart

Chapter Thirty-One

A little after three a nurse came to retrieve Mom. Just Mom. They wouldn't let me come. She reassured us that everything was okay but parents only. Dad wasn't there yet and I'd done much more in terms of raising Clark than he had anyway but that didn't seem to matter in this situation. She said we'd get to see him soon and disappeared around the corner with Mom. I pouted and Uncle Matt came to sit next to me.

    "What're you drawing?" He peaked over my shoulder.

    "Impatience." Another clock. 3:22. He chuckled and took the sketchbook from me, flipping through it. I blushed when he paused on the page where I'd drawn Kenny's hands. There was no way he knew what it meant to me when I drew it or how it affected me seeing it now after what had happened the night before.

    "Who's this?" He asked, stopping on a sketch I'd drawn of Alissa, big mouth open wide, singing in her car. "And this?" When he landed on a drawing of Nate, a side profile of his dimpled face while we'd been sitting in English class. "Is he your boyfriend?" Uncle Matt teased when I answered him.

    "No..." I scowled.

    "But, you want him to be?" Either I was that obvious or his intuition was on point.

    "It's a long story." I closed my sketchbook.

    "I think we've got time." He sat back and clasped his hands in his lap, waiting. I hesitated briefly but then it was like a dam broke and I told him everything.

          Everything.

          I told him about Alissa and Kenny and Nate and Carly. I told him about trying to smoke weed and about the snowball fight at Carly's. I told him about Alissa's mom and the awful things I'd said to her at the party the night before. I told him how much fun she could be but also about how much trouble she was. I told him about Dad and Kristen, and jumping out of the truck and the baby. I told him about work and Carly and our stupid fight and seeing Nate at the movies with another girl. Finally, with my eyes locked on the floor in front of me and my voice barely louder than a whisper, I told him about the party the night before.

    He didn't say much as I spoke. He asked a few clarifying questions, laughed at some parts, frowned at others and nodded a lot. When I finished my story and looked up, the vain in Uncle Matt's forehead was throbbing angrily.

    "So this Kenny guy, he's over 18?" His fists clenched and unclenched much like Nate's had right before he punched Kenny. My uncle Matt was not your stereotypical gay guy. He wasn't particularly tall, only an inch taller than me, but he was a bear of a man with thick arms and a broad hairy chest. He had a mountain man beard with a similar fashion sense. He wore plaid button up shirts even in the middle of summer. There was nothing effeminate about him and he wasn't someone people messed with.

    "Uncle Matt... no! It was handled," I insisted.

    "Nate should have hit him harder," He growled. "If I'd been the one to hit him, he wouldn't have gotten right back up." I didn't doubt that. I just sighed, marinating in my misery. "It sounds like you have some great friends," he finally said.

    "Had. Before I messed everything up." I pouted and, to my surprise, he started laughing. "How is this funny?" I demanded.

    "Veda, real friendships are not that fragile. Just give it some time. Look and your mom and Leah." He told me. Mom and Leah had been friends my whole life and it was true that they didn't always get along. They'd gotten in such big fights that they didn't speak for weeks before but one of them always ended up giving in and calling the other in tears.

    "I know..." my voice trembled. "But it just feels like everything is falling apart!" I cried.

    "That's going to happen over and over in your life no matter how well you live it. Everything will fall apart. It's not about not falling apart. It's about how you fall apart. And then it's about how you put it all back together." Uncle Matt said wisely.