How to Fall Apart

Chapter Eighteen

By Friday Alissa had missed two weeks of school and Mom was sick of hearing me complain so she let me borrow her car. When I pulled up in front of her house and saw that her blazer was parked out front I expected her to answer the door but it was Avery instead. I was so sure it would be Alissa to open the door I just kind of stood there stupidly staring at Avery until she asked "Can I help you?"

"Um, yeah. Hi Mrs. Ross. I don't know if you remember me, I'm Alissa's friend, Veda," I smiled at her and she just looked at me impatiently. "Is Alissa home?"

"No," she pursed her lips, not offering up any more information. I wasn't sure if Alissa had been skipping school and didn't want to get her into trouble so I had a mini argument with myself before deciding I was worried enough to potentially get her into trouble. Avery went to shut the door, thinking we were done but I stopped her.

"I'm just worried, she hasn't been at school this week and hasn't been answering her phone." I pushed my foot in the door. Avery looked like she wasn't sure if she should be annoyed or feel sorry for me.

"Look, Aida." She called me the wrong name and it was cold and I was kind of hoping she would let me in but at least she hadn't closed the door in my face like she seemed to want to. "You seem like a nice girl, so don't take it the wrong way when I say you're better off staying far far away from Alissa. She is a sinking ship and she will take you down with her if you don't steer clear." Even if I was good at hiding my emotions there was no way I would have been able to hide my surprise at Avery's warning. "I'm sure that sounds horrible, she's my stepdaughter and I love her, but I like to think I'm a realist. Alissa is in JSC right now." I was well aware that Alissa participated in plenty of activities that could land her in juvie, had joined her in more of them than I would admit to Avery, but an unrealistic part of me just didn't expect she'd ever get caught. Avery let it sink in for a minute before continuing.

"She got pulled over with a blood alcohol level of point one two and she tested positive for marijuana and opiates. Her dad isn't going to bail her out this time." This time. This wasn't the first time Alissa had been busted.

"I... I didn't know." I stuttered, feeling very much like a slow computer, trying to process all of this information. I wondered when she'd managed to do all this. I'd dropped her off Sunday after a fun, substance free night and then she went out and did that?

"Of course not." Avery smiled and she looked almost sympathetic. She was very pretty, younger than Alissa's dad but not so young that he'd quite robbed the cradle. Her hair and makeup were perfectly done, I wondered if she was the one who had taught Alissa. She was dressed in designer jeans and an expensive looking sweater and she crossed her arms across her ample chest against the cold. "Alissa has always been a little... rebellious. But ever since her Mom died last year..." Avery was still talking but I didn't hear a word. My ears were buzzing. Alissa's mom was dead. Dead. I racked my brain, remembering the conversation I'd had with Alissa about her mom.

"She loved me, she wanted me and she would have gotten better for me if he'd just let her have me." She had said. Past tense. I hadn't realized that at the time. Avery was done talking and she was looking at me expectantly like she had just asked me a question.

"I'm sorry, what?" I said stupidly. Avery pursed her prettily painted lips. "Her mom is dead?" I asked before she could answer.

"Yes, last year. She overdosed." Avery responded, not unkindly but I could tell she had lost her patience with me.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you." I turned to leave.

"Do yourself a favor and find some new friends," Avery said before closing the door. I heard the lock click into place and I walked numbly back to Mom's car. I turned the heat on full blast as soon as I got into the car. The heat kicked in quickly but I couldn't get warm. Alissa's mom was dead and she lied to me about it. I couldn't exactly be mad at her for that. After sitting there trying to process this all I finally put the car in drive and headed back home.