How to Fall Apart

Chapter Nine

I woke up slowly the next morning. The sun was streaming in through my white curtains and I thought for the thousandth time that I needed darker curtains. I could hear Mom and Clark talking out in the living room. My eyes felt puffy from crying the night before so I headed to the bathroom to splash water on my face.

"Please Mom." I could hear my brother begging. "I'll give you all of my allowance."

"No, Clark!" Her voice was hushed and scolding. She didn't scold him often as he didn't usually warrant it so I was curious. I paused in the hallway to listen.

"But I'll pay for the babysitter myself. It doesn't even have to be Emma. Just don't leave me with her!" My jaw dropped when I realized what was happening. I was the 'her' Clark was referring to and he was trying to pay for his own babysitter as opposed to spending the day with me. How was this the same kid who used to ask Mom to pick up weekend shifts because he enjoyed our days together so much? It didn't occur to me at the time that maybe I was the one who had changed. I stomped into the living room with my hands on my hips.

"What the hell, Clark?" I cried.

"See!" He whispered to Mom. "She even looks like an alien. I'm telling you, this is some kind of body snatcher thing, that is not my sister."

"Your brother thinks you've been replaced by a body snatcher," she told me, nursing a cup of coffee lovingly.

"I heard," I replied dryly and poured myself a cup of coffee. This was a new habit but I figured it was genetics with how much Mom loved her coffee. Or just the fact that I was getting less sleep. Clark saw this as further proof that his sister had been replaced by an alien.

"You can't leave me with her," he complained, talking to Mom like I wasn't even in the room.

"For your information, I had a fun day planned out for us today," I lied. His brown eyes lit up a little.

"Like what?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Nope, no way. Too late now. You don't want to spend the day with me so I'll just go back to bed." I started walking to my room with my coffee. "Just don't burn down the house, 'kay?" Mom laughed and shook her head.

"Well, if you have plans why don't you two drop me off at work so you can take the car." She grabbed her purse and tossed me her keys. They landed at my feet because, as I've

mentioned, I'm seriously lacking coordination and I was not about to sacrifice my cup of coffee in order to catch the keys.

"Nice catch." She raised an eyebrow at me. I pulled on a sweatshirt, took a big drink of coffee and we took Mom to work. After, I asked Clark if he was in the mood for pancakes.

"Is that a real question?" He asked. "Pancakes are appropriate for all moods." We went to IHOP and I was amazed how much food a small ten year old boy could put away. When he finished he asked me what was next on my agenda for a fun day. I hesitated just long enough for him to catch on that I hadn't really made plans for the day. Hurt registered in his big brown eyes.

"No, I really did make plans but I just don't know if you'll be interested," I covered, convincingly I hoped. I told him about the basketball game and watched his face. Like me, he could never hide what he was thinking or feeling. I watched his thoughts play out before he said anything. He was interested but there was reservation.

"Is Alissa coming?" He finally asked.

"Nope, just me and you all day." I promised. After we ate, we still had over an hour before Carly's game started so we went home and changed. I put on a blue Stevens hoodie and told Clark to wear blue or gray. If we were going to cheer Carly on we might as well show some school spirit.