EVELYN
That same feeling nudges irritatingly against the back of my brain, it's not new, in fact a lot of the time I can pretend the niggling feeling isn't even there. It follows me around every minute of every day, like I'm supposed to understand what it means. Perhaps if I had some discipline, I would take up yoga or something equally mind-numbing.
The boredom would surely pull whatever it is that bothers me so completely from the depths of where it's stuck, instead I walk around like I've forgotten something constantly. When it gets really bad? That's when I truly consider yoga, something tranquil that'll give me access to my mind.
Instead, I find myself constantly trapped in situations that I don't remember getting into. I've practically memorised the path from the emergency wing of the hospital, past the nurses' station and out the main doors without a glance at the many signs. There's no reality in which someone that doesn't work here, or suffers from a terminal illness should spend this much time at the hospital.
I keep telling them to just leave me on the ground but no, bar policy states that the ambulance has to be called and since they have no respect for the mountains of debt I am collecting. They insist on taking me back to the hospital, adding the ambulance fee to my tab, every single time, Callie, and David don't appreciate seeing me so often, they appreciate even less that I keep telling them it's like an unwilling vacation.
A vacation I keep telling them not to take me on, every visit is the same, panic attacks, that is apparently the ground-breaking reason I keep passing out. They suggest a shrink every time, and I only wonder what's stopping them from putting me on a seventy-two-hour hold.
Turns out panic attacks, passing out and a concussion here or there is enough to make me poorer but not enough to give me the tools to eradicate the incidents altogether. Monica is going to be pissed when she hears where I ended up last night, she's the only one that seems to hate my situation as much as I do.
Though, granted, we have been friends for six years and survived the abuse and neglect of our upbringings to live in our shithole of an apartment together. She'll be less than impressed that I ended up in the hospital again, even less that I won't have made a full shift's worth of tips, it's the kind of care that is followed by a deep sigh of sadness that life isn't improving.
I told her I would try and limit the amount I go out, everything's soft in the apartment, enough to soften any potential concussions but that's the thing. It never does happen at home. Only out and about, random places sure, but mostly, at work, it's a miracle based on pity that I even still have a job.
Either I am a fantastic employee, and my boss can overlook the incidents, or he just feels that bad for me. It's definitely not the former but I like to pretend.
It always starts and ends the same way, I get to the bar at two in the afternoon, all my shifts start then, and I do my best to ignore the creeps that are drawn through the doors. They're an obstacle unhelped by the fact cropped tops and booty shorts are a requirement and the downfall of drunk and flirty men that truly I have no interest in. Then, there's the other ones, who aren't influenced by alcohol and are instead convinced that the sun shines out of their asshole, that if they crowd me enough, I'll realise what a catch they are.
Tom tells me I can't kick them in the balls unless it is totally necessary, as I learnt we have wildly different ideas of what the threshold for that is.
That nagging feeling, I mentioned? Well, it gets somewhat unbearable some nights, like I'm supposed to understand what it means, notice something around me. I can never quite figure out what it is, and then the world starts to swim around me, my ears start ringing and my body screams to get out of here, then I'm passing out. Someone's reaching for me, but I've always hit my head, or forgotten how to breathe before they reach me and, well, I wake up in the hospital.
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The Void
Fantasy*previously titled touched* Some people are more unlucky than others, Evelyn knows this more than most, after being kidnapped from her house she finds herself at the mercy of creatures she thought children's stories. When a mysterious lady saves h...
