The Void

Chapter Twelve. In Depth.

Everything around me is heavy when I wake again, my muscles ache and my head pounds, my wrists ache from where they bit me but, just like with my bruises, I don't let them heal me. I can tell immediately that Rhydian isn't here anymore, but I am still cocooned between Selena and Kyle's protective embraces.

Clearly, my emotions are still scattered and muddled from the utter devastation they endured last night, I needed it though, to know that this feeling of being not entirely myself, isn't me just being crazy. I needed the comfort of not waking up alone, despite Rhydian's reassurance I am still not entirely sure that I trust myself.

Everything changed so quickly last night, I knew something was going on, it was impossible to ignore the tension the second I walked into the room and now my life has been once again flipped on its head. The only thing I have left to hold onto is that they didn't leave me this time, that they scooped me up and carried me back, and held me.

All of a sudden, I'm aware of that constant pressure in the back of my head and what it means, all those times I took myself out had to have been the spirit trying to protect itself. The whispers of answers and words that I don't understand isn't me being crazy, it's fucking magic living in my brain.

How much of my violent thoughts are me and how much are the spirit, the kicking men in the dick is probably just me, but the rest is definitely the spirit bastard. At least it's kind of reassuring to know I am not a flat-out psycho who wants to stab Mady and a variety of other people.

So, this thing inside of me has been around for hundreds of years, and I'm twenty-three, so has it been inside of me for this whole time, or did it arrive at some point during my turbulent childhood? Am I another vessel at the end of a long line of failures or am I the third people it has ever popped up in?

Then there was Adnus, Luka, Colton, and the maid, they didn't illicit such a strong reaction from me, but I did fight all of them in a way I wouldn't normally. Nothing compares to the wrath that erupted from me when Rhydian started talking about Mady, I can only assume it has to do with the whole soulmate thing.

"If you're stressing about killing us while you sleep, you can stop, other than kicking me in the vagina four separate times, you were fine" Selena murmurs, cheek pressed against my back as she remains wrapped around my back.

"Shut up" I laugh, tucking myself even further into Kyle's embrace as she pinches my side. "Or next time I will do it on purpose"

"In all seriousness, you won't" Kyle groans, left arm stretched beneath the pillow Selena and I share, attempting to touch her in some capacity.

"I just don't get it" I sigh, pushing up from the mattress, letting Selena curl around my crossed legs to place her head next to Kyle's. "Why me? And why you guys? If the prophecy says that this spirit is supposed to kill Vampire's, then what has gone wrong?"

Selena, who is now lying diagonally across the top of the bed, pressing a kiss to his ribcage as his hand tangles through her hair. I see their love all the time, but it's so rarely gentle touches and lingering so close together when I am always wedged between their bodies.

"Magic always has loopholes, our touching and caring for you is part of that, we can fight and argue and hurt each other but you don't fear us. Maybe that has something to do with it, perhaps Rhydian has dismissed the master bond too quickly, all we know is that we don't unlock that in you, but Mady does" Kyle theorises, his eyes still closed as the comfort of our room continues to dance around us.

"Yeah" I whisper, letting Selena play with my fingers. "Just kind of feels like I have spent my life thinking I was a little insane, and I guess, I kind of am"