The Void

Chapter Seventeen. The Serum and Blood.

Every inch of my body aches, the floor of the cell they shoved me into yesterday evening unforgiving against the bruises that litter my skin. The bed built into the small room doesn't feel any better, the shoulder I had woken laying on screams in protest every time I move, and I can't work out whether it's from falling after they hit me, or being dumped in here.

If anything, this is just another example of my desperate need to being able to read my own emotions better, putting more stock in my intuition, instead of ignoring it and second-guessing's who's feelings they are. The realty is they're all mine, even if we're two separate entities, we share one host and those choices I am so cautious to make are making things worse.

In fairness, how much could I really have changed? Mady and Cole are loose cannons that make me wish that this blasted Spirit actually responded to me, because those two are prime examples for what this spell was made for. Except, the only thing it's accomplished is somehow giving these people more power than they already have, and that's what scares me the most.

It wasn't fake confidence, it was more surety than I have ever felt in my life, and that's what worries me the most because they're making me believe that they're going to succeed. They're going to push me to the back and let the Spirit take over and who's to say anyone is safe from that. I'm not really in any position to discredit the work that the original witches did because I can understand their intentions, but I still hate them for it too.

If I close my eyes, and focus hard enough, I can follow the threads of my bonds through the cellars and up into his office, where they pace the length of the room in continuous loops. What plan could they be coming up with? Have they figured out how many people have swapped sides; how many people ran like he told them too? How are they supposed to get rid of Cole and Mady if they don't have the numbers for it.

How do I live with the guilt of knowing that it was largely because of the distraction I caused with the three of them, that they were able to slip between the cracks and pull of something like this? They've been so caught up in looking after me, and catering to my feelings and mood swings and needs that they didn't even notice the upheaval. To be betrayed like this is to be hurt, and knowing he's in pain is like poking my heart with shards of glass.

I swing wildly between wishing I had more control over the power that swims through my veins, however unpredictable and wishing that the thing would cease to exist within me. What would it matter if I could summon the magic at will, I don't have the skills or the training to wield it.

Sure, Rhydian mentioned Mady, and I almost destroyed his room but none of that was intentional, and how does any of it matter when I couldn't feel it at the time I most needed too. A part of me wonders if the spell is more fractured than we thought, if it's linked to those three, and only around them, and feeling safe, am I able to tap into it.

The obnoxious clicking of Mady's heels against the concrete hall alerts me of her impending arrival, and I press myself further into the back of the cell. Curiously, I wonder if her flirting with Rhydian was a part of the plan, or whether she genuinely wanted to take him for a ride. Either way, it's at least mildly amusing that she hates me so much because I'm more powerful than her.

"My life would be so much easier if you just unleashed the assassin side of yourself without all this hassle" Mady drawls in a bored tone, Cole stepping up behind her with a look I can only describe as excitement. If I had eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours, now would be the time I throw it up.

"That's not how it works" I reply, my voice steady despite the way of emotions clashing together inside of tired and bruised body.

They both step inside the cell, my back ache as I press harder against the stone wall. "And why is that?"