Harry Styles Imagines

65 - Away

AWAY

                                                 With fast and big steps I walk down the empty streets. Gusts of wind hit me as I make my way through the cold and windy autumn evening. My eyes are burning, not only from the wind blowing in my face but also from the attempts of holding back my tears.

 My reason to be this upset is ridiculous and the reason why I left my home for a few hours is pathetic. But I needed that and sometimes you are allowed to be selfish.

 I put on my jacket and shoes and left the flat I share with Harry. He never listened to me anyway. He never has time to talk. I'm struggling with problems and I need somebody right now but it seems like Harry doesn't want to be that somebody at the moment.

 And that is okay. Maybe he has his own problems and just knows better how to handle them than I do.

 I enter a small bistro and seek an empty table. When I found one right beside the huge window that has a view on the empty streets. Not a living soul seems to be keen on having a walk at this time and temperature.

 The bistro is slightly filled. Every few tables are people sitting. Alone, couples, friends, every group of people is represented here.

 A small and nice-looking waitress approaches my table and notes my order. As I wait for my drink I stare out the window and watch the defect street light go on and off every few seconds.

 It doesn't take long and my drink is placed in front of me. After a quiet thanks I take a sip from it every now and then and burn my tongue on the hot liquid. Those late hours appear lonely to me. Loneliness seems to overcome people only at night but I don't know why.

 We never seem to feel as lonely on a bright day as we do at night. In the daytime we don't waste as much thoughts on feeling lonely as we do in the late evening when we sit at home.

 The thing is I shouldn't feel lonely. I have someone who tells me every now and then that he loves me. Every now and then I even get a kiss. But even though I receive those small affectionate words or touches from Harry, every now and then, I feel left alone by him.

  "Jesus Christ, Y/N!" A familiar voice tears me out of my deep and dark thoughts. I turn around and look directly into Harry's face which I have never seen so concerned before.

 "Why didn't you tell me where you are? Why didn't you even tell me that you've left?" Harry says and crosses the space between us until he stands next to my table. A few heads have turned to us, watching the scene curiously.

 "I...I didn't know you would notice." I shrug.

 "You thought I wouldn't notice your absence? What are you talking about? Of course, I do." Harry says, visibly confused and still kind of worried but also with a hint of relieve in his voice.

 "Don't do this to me again. Don't ever just leave without telling me," Harry says and crouches down beside me. His warm, big hands gather mine in his, "What was in your mind? You were gone for hours."

 Hours? It only felt like one, maybe even two. I look down and see that I have emptied my cup.

 "I didn't know I just...I had to get away for a while."

 "Why, baby? You know you can talk to me." Harry says and places a kiss on the back of my hand. My eyes sweeps over to the clock above the entrance door. Almost 11pm. I really was gone for longer than I thought.

 "Can I, yeah?" I mumble and stand up, "Every time I actually want to talk to you, your mind is somewhere else. I feel like I'm losing you, like we're drifting apart."

 "We're not. I love you, Y/N." Harry says and the crease from earlier, which made him look worried, appears again but this time it makes him look confused.

 "Sometimes love is not enough, Harry," I tell him and leave the bistro because the last thing I want is other people to witness our serious conversation, "At first love is enough. Love is enough to start a relationship but I've never had a relationship where love was enough to make one work for a longer time. Love comes and goes."

 "What are you talking about, Y/N? I don't...I don't get it."

 Harry grabs my arm and stops me from walking away from him. The night became silent, there is no loud wind anymore that would blow my hair into my face. His green eyes are almost impossible to see in the dim light.

 "Were you thinking about a break up? Don't you love me anymore?"

 "I do love you, Harry. I never wanted anything more in life than you and—"

 "And you have me." Harry concludes.

 "The thing is, I needed someone. I had troubles and I needed someone to listen to me, or just to hold me. But you were busy with other things, didn't even bother to check if I was okay. I always ask you how your day was but you never ask me. And I feel like...I feel stupid being the only one who does this."

 Harry lets go of my arm and stares at me dumbfounded. His jaw tenses and then relaxes again as he ponders about something.

 "I'm sorry, my reason to behave this way is ridiculous. I'm exaggerating this." I say and shake my head.

 "No, no, you're right. I should have paid more attention to you and I'm sorry I didn't," Harry apologizes and runs his fingers through his hair, "When you were gone and I didn't know where you were, I almost lost my mind. I was so worried and just everything welled up inside me and I just...I really love you, Y/N."

 "I love you too, Harry."

 "And love can be enough. You wouldn't even know how strong love can be." Harry says with a wry smile as he takes my hand in his and intertwines our fingers.

 "And you know it, yeah?"

 "I do actually," Harry tells me and chuckles, "I could show you how strong love is...and how beautiful."

 "You can, yeah?" I ask with a hoarse voice. All of a sudden all the confidence and strength left my voice.

 "I indeed can," Harry says and pecks my lips a few times, letting me crave more for him with every short kiss, "Do you want me to?"

 "Yes."

 "But under one condition."

 "What?"

 "Don't ever leave me worried like this again."

 "Promised." I say breathlessly and Harry leans down to kiss me, even deepens the kiss before he separates our lips and pulls me with him back to our shared home.