Harry Styles Imagines

03 - Just a kid (au)

JUST A KID

                                "If you weren't so damn clingy we wouldn't be fighting now!" Harry screams at me. His fist slams onto the surface of the counter as his eyes form into slots.

 "Being clingy and caring about someone are two different things! I'm not clingy I was just afraid! Afraid you might leave me!"

 "Well, you're annoying the shit out of me so I'm gonna leave!" Harry roars and storms out of the kitchen but I follow him. I'm not going to let him go without having an explanation.

 The fight happened because I asked him where he was last night. The only thing I know is that he went out with some friends. Usually, I'm not the jealous type of girlfriend but I saw how wasted he was and I'm just afraid to lose him. Is this wrong?

 But since Harry is still hung over and never was a morning person he reacted angrily to my question and we started to fight. I'm just worried about him and I hate that he rather spends his nights out than with me, even though we can barely see each other. Harry already goes to college and I'm still stuck in High School. 

 Therefore, we can only see us on the weekends and yesterday Harry decided to go clubbing. I thought it's okay to let him have fun but I didn't want us to fight, especially since this is our last day together until I have to go back to High School and he to college.

 "Harry, will you wait just a second, please? I didn't mean to—"

 "Shut up, Y/N! I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with a kid, a young, naïve and clingy girl!"

 Harry stops and turns to me, screaming the hurtful words right into my face. He knows it bothers me that we are four years apart. Sometimes, I love the fact that he is older than me but at times like this, I hate it. He always accuses me of being too young.

 "W—what?"

 "You heard me! You're just a kid, Y/N. I could leave now and directly have someone else clinging on my shoulder, someone older than you."

 "Is this really just about the age difference?"

 "No, Y/N, it's not! It's about me, it's about you, about us! Your adherence is annoying me and ugh!"

 "Okay, alright. Go on and leave!" I yell back. Of course, I don't mean these words but at the same time I do. I want him to leave but I also want him to apologize and tell me that the age difference between us doesn't matter.

 Harry nods, turning to walk through the door while I speak my threat out loud, "But if you'll leave now, don't you dare to come back. Don't you dare."

 Surprisingly, Harry grabs his jacket and his keys. After he put it on he turns around to me and just stares for a while. His eyes wander up and down over my body until they remain on my eyes. He looks torn, unsure if he should really leave and let our relationship be over or if he should stay and let this be just another fight between us.

  "You need to know that I love you, Y/N."

  "A kid? You want to tell me that you love a kid?" I fire back. I'm still so unbelievable mad.

  "You are more than just a kid and I know that. It wasn't right from me to call you that. I'm sorry."

  "You expect me to forgive you now, right? But I know the next time I have to listen to the same shit you said today. Only because I care about you I'm called a kid. Young and naïve. I know I'm younger, okay? And I hate it but—"

  "Can we just forget this, please?" Harry pleads and takes is jacket off, placing the keys back on the little dresser, "Please, I didn't mean it. I don't care that you are younger than me becaue I love you. I'm just...I was just annoyed because of college and the comments my friends made about you."

  Harry stands now in front of me, space is barely between us. My arms are still crossed in front of my chest. Harry gently places his hands on my arms and puts them down so I get rid off my defensive position. He puts his index finger under my chin and tilts my chin slightly back.

  "I was trying to tell myself that the age difference is reason enough to break up with you but—" Harry starts.

  "Why do you even want to break up with me? Why are you searching for a reason?"

  "I'm scared," Harry admits and looks like a lost boy, "We barely see each other, only on the weekends and I'm afraid you might find someone else during the week I couldn't see you. So I push you away, in hope, that it won't hurt so much when you actually leave me."

  "Shouldn't I be the one to be afraid that you might leave me since you are older than me?"

  Harry sighs and his finger traces over my bottom lip. "I love you and I don't want to leave you or you to leave me. Age means nothing, okay? And I will stop pushing you away, I promise you."

  "I—You—I'm not sure, Harry." I whisper, taking a step backwards. Harry looks at me in shock. And I'm shocked myself. I should be standing here and buy everything he is telling me. I should be happy that he tries to change for me, that he tries to fight his own fear. But I'm still here, standing there with my own fear. And I can't fight it as easily as Harry obviously can.

  "What do you mean with you are not sure?"

  "Maybe it is the right thing to break up, you know? Maybe we just need space."

  "Space? You mean even more space? Y/N, we only see us on the weekends and you want more space? What is wrong with you? Why are you...What are you talking about?"

  "I'm just confused, okay?"

  "Why are you confused? Why?" Harry demands, slamming his fist onto the little dresser next to me.

  "I just think—Maybe you shouldn't waste your time with a kid."

  "Are you going to hold that against me now every time? You mean so much to me. I can barely—I don't even want to imagine how my life would be without you. I love you! And you let the age difference come between us!"

  "I love you, too, Harry. But don't you want to figure out what you want in life as well?"

  "I want you. I only want you." Harry whispers and steps closer again. His chest touches mine and he intertwines our fingers, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss each knuckle. I'm trying to push him away but he stays.

  "Do you need to figure out what you want in life? Isn't it clear for you?"

  "It is clear," I mumble, realizing it is Harry, "I was just trying to tell myself I don't want you but it didn't work." I tell Harry and he leans down, smiling, kisses all our fears, that were buried deep inside of us, away.