Just My Job (Shuichi Saihara x Reader)

Chapter 10

(Your POV)

Why does it feel so... warm...? You thought, yawning and rubbing your eyes. When you opened them, you literally screeched in surprise and fell off the bed, hitting your head. "Owwww!!"

"(Y/N)...?" Shuichi opened his eyes in confusion.

"Ah!!! I'm sorry!" You panicked, blushing a bit.

"What happened?" Shuichi asked in confusion.

"I-I think I sleepwalked or something because I woke up on top of you and I freaked out and I fell and hit my head!" You explained quickly, squirming around uncomfortably.

"H-hey, calm down...! It's not like I'm hurt," Shuichi tried his best to reassure you.

"I know, but!! It's super awkward!" You whined, standing up, or trying to. You immediately regretted that decision because you hit your head on the edge of the end table, making you groan loudly in pain.

"A-are you alright?!" Shuichi gasped, checking your head for any blood.

"I-I'm fine, I think..." You groaned, definitely not feeling fine.

Shuichi took a flashlight from his pocket, "This is gonna hurt, but follow the flashlight, okay?"

He flicked on the flashlight and you wanted to shut your eyes so badly at the bright light but you did as you were told. Eventually he flicked off the light, watching your eyes carefully.

"I-I think you have a concussion..." Shuichi sighed.

"Great..." You grumbled, starting to feel drowsy. Shuichi seemed to notice this right away.

"Oh! You should lay down," Shuichi suggested.

You were too tired to complain so you carefully stood up and made your way to your bedroom, Shuichi watching in case you fell or something but you managed to make it back to your bed just fine. You laid down and snuggled up to your covers, almost immediately falling asleep.

(Shuichi's POV)

I watched (Y/N) fall asleep, feeling just a tad creepy. Okay, I felt super awkward. I wanted to make sure she was alright but watching her sleep was extremely creepy. I had to admit she looked cute, but... wait, what was I thinking?! Blushing, I quickly returned to the guest room and did random things on my phone to try and distract myself. Thank god today's my day off...

However, anything that I tried was futile. My thoughts kept going back to (Y/N). She's so helpful and kind... I know I really shouldn't be thinking like this but I can't help it!! It feels like falling for Kaede all over again, but this time it's not Kaede... it's somebody better...

I froze at that thought. Better? I don't hate Kaede though... that's pretty rude... Sighing, I was reminded of our bitter breakup.

"Shuichi, we need to talk," Kaede huffed, turning around from her piano. I was finishing up a case report while she practiced, but at her demanding tone I raised my head.

"What is it?" I raised a brow in question. She seemed rather upset, was it something I did?!

"Shuichi... I just feel like we've sorta... drifted apart, y'know? You're always so focused on your work and I feel like you never really have time for me," Kaede started.

"I-I'm sorry!! Do you want me to call in sick tomorrow?" I offered a bit desparately.

"No, it's fine... you don't need to bother your much more important work because I won't be here tomorrow. I'll be... with someone better," Kaede smiled bitterly.

"What are you talking about?!" I fought back tears, already knowing what she meant.

"Goodbye, Shuichi," Kaede sighed, going to our room. She picked up a bag she'd packed in advance and threw her engagement ring at me, walking out of the door, leaving me confused and devastated.

What did I do wrong...? Why did she leave me so suddenly when I wanted to start a family with her, when I loved her?! I wanted to know why, but all I could do was cry. I felt a bottomless pit of despair begin to claw its way into my heart, making me sink forever and ever into the abyss.

"I'll be with someone better too, Kaede..." I mumbled, "I don't know where you are after your death, but I really feel bad for you... I'm really sorry for whatever I did..."

"Remember what you promised me when we were engaged? You told me that you'd never blame yourself anymore, so you can't keep doing that! You can't just blame yourself for everything when you really know it's not your fault..."

"I think... I know why I couldn't hold my promise, Kaede... and I'm sorry. But that's okay, because I know it really is my fault you left..." I felt some tears leave my eyes, despite the fact I was smiling. However, it was a sad smile, a smile that was empty.

"We say it's our fault when we know it's not... we blame ourselves out loud because we want to convince ourselves on the inside that it's our fault. We want to make ourselves sad, even though we know it's really not our fault..."

"But at the same time, another part of us doesn't want to be sad. That other part doesn't want us to blame ourselves, so it lets us say it's our fault so someone else can tell us it's not. We all want to hear that it's going to be okay, that we didn't do it... it makes us feel like we matter."

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Word count: 902

Woah two chapters in a day twice in a row... I'm really spoiling you guys