- in which a romantic story is told between the walls of a mental hospital.
『 " finn was proof to her that the world wasn't out to get her. there was good in the world, happiness. she happen to find her happiness in a very unexpected place. a mental...
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* trigger warning; self harm. *
'mental patients have escaped local mental hospital!' 'finn wolfhard and sadie sink have been proven missing by police!' 'two mental hospital patients have ran away together?'
finn clicked off the news, turning the tv off with a click of a button before turning to the ginger that sat aside him.
"i've made a few arrangements. we're leaving hawkin's in a few hours." finn stated before kissing the forehead of the smaller girl.
at this point sadie didn't really care where they would end up; as long as they were together. that's all that she really cared about.
turns out, finn's older brother nick lives a few miles outside of town. but nick is a business man. meaning, he's always never home due to traveling around the country. he has an apartment, that he wouldn't mind sadie and finn staying for a while.
they were both procrastinating on leaving. neither of them wanted to sit in a car for thirty minutes with caleb. and neither of them wanted to leave the comfort of the queen sized bed that they slept in.
though time passed and it was ready to go, caleb let sadie keep his shirt, along with their toothbrushes and the other necessities they needed for the night.
the 30 minutes past by quickly, waving caleb goodbye and thanking him for letting them stay; they entered nick's house. empty. he wouldn't be back home for at least 3 weeks.
but sadie and finn took that as an opportunity to make themselves feel like normal people. a lot of finn's things actually was kept in nick's apartment, which was really helpful.
sadie didn't want to go home, so contacting her parents wasn't a thing she had on her mind.
finn decided to make sadie an actual meal; since all they've had was hospital food. finn was generally good at cooking; sadie couldn't say the same.
but that was fine with finn, he didn't mind cooking for her.
sadie had put clean socks on before running around the house and sliding on the wooden floors. she was having the time of her life. finn just watched her, amused.
he smiled at the girl entertaining herself with the smallest things while he cooked for her.
there was no kitchen table, only an island. when he was finally done, sadie sat down on a chair which pulled up to the island and ate her food, finn joining her after they cleaned up.
sadie was happy, she was genuinely happy with finn. he made her happy.
although maybe happiness doesn't always last.
sadie remembers the reason she was admitted. to get away from her triggers. although she is far away from school, and her old best friends.
caleb was definitely a trigger for her depression. he makes her uncontrollably sad. just by seeing him. and even though they're not with him now she's still slightly upset.
finn fell asleep earlier then normal. she let him sleep because she knows he didn't fall asleep til late last night.
she wandered into the bathroom. she thought about taking an other shower for a moment, but instead she placed herself in front of the sink. she stared in the mirror at herself.
ugly.
fat.
gross.
disgusting.
whore.
the things that they told her before played over and over in her head like a record player. she hated it. she hated them. but most of all,
she hated herself.
she didn't even notice the hot tears running down her face at first. but they slipped out of her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and onto her neck.
she questioned it for a moment. why did she leave the hospital? what was the point? was it really just for finn?
was she that considerate to just drop everything and run away with him?
or was she being egocentric. maybe she ran away for herself. because she was lost.
millie had left and finn wanted to leave, what if she didn't run away with him? would he have left with out her?
she would have been completely alone.
and then she would really have gone mad.
sadie breathed heavily.
maybe she should just quit. end it here. maybe she should go back, turn herself in and get more treatment.
but she didn't want to go back.
taking a dull razor blade off the self, she pressed it onto her arm and cut vertically. it stung, but she didn't care. due to the blade being very dull, it didn't cut deep. but yes, it did make her bleed. blood dripped from her arm to the sink.
sadie dropped the blade, letting it fall to the floor.
she couldn't leave finn behind. she's all he has left and she knew that.
now she was just being completely egocentric. and she knows this know. she suddenly feels guilt wash over her.
would he be mad at her?
her question was soon answered when finn opened the door to the bathroom, seeing his, unofficial, girlfriend leak blood from her wrists.
he immediately grabbed her, pushing her head into his chest, where the girl cried her eyes out. he grabbed her arm to examine it. he then of course, opened the cabinet, and pulled out medical supplies.
sadie sat on the toilet cover and just let him take care of her wrists, by of course cleaning it first.
they sat in silence for the longest time until he was about to rap her arm with bandages.
"why?" is all he could choke out. he was still slightly in shock. he made a mental note to himself that he would never leave her unsupervised again.
finn instantly blames himself. he must make her unhappy, it's his fault she's not in the safety of the hospital.
she was getting help, therapy, medication. and he took that all away from her.
"i just, i don't know anymore." is all she said.
"are you unhappy here?" he asked.
"it's not that. this place is great. you're great." she said standing up know. "you're amazing, you're perfect. and it's not your fault. you make me very happy finn. it's just the past that gets to me sometimes." she lets out a shaky breath, "i'm still trying to get better, okay?" she says before tears start flowing out of her eyes again.
"if you're feeling sad, please come talk to me. walk me up, i don't fucking care if i'm sleeping. i don't care what i'm doing. i'm always going to be here for you, okay?" she crashed her body into his for a tight hug. "you don't have to hurt yourself anymore. promise me, you'll come talk to me instead."
"i promise."
- hi, i'm sorry for the sad chapter but i don't know when i'll be able to update next because i'm grounded, hopefully only a few days! bye for now xx - sadie
