It all started with the pain (Kaminari x Shinso)

Chapter 12. Not so stable

Kaminari pov

"He's stabilized......" Aizawa says as we all nod and start walking inside.

It took them that long to stabilize him? He's gonna be okay right?

"We decide not to make him get the surgery, it's what he would have wanted-" Aizawa says as I cry more than ever, if that was even possible.

I need to calm down, they're losing a son and brother. They don't need me crying and making everything worse for them.

"They said a max of four people could go in at a time, but he's not awake......" Aizawa says sadly as Eri hides behind him with Mic beside her.

"I-" Eri tries to say but fails and looks at the ground as tears hit the ground.

I walk towards Eri, bending down to her height and wrapping her in a hug.

She cries more.

Everything goes quiet as we break apart, still both crying as I stand up.

Slowly we all walk to the hallway that leads to Shinso's hospital room.

Shinso pov

Voices?

People?

I'm Blacking out....

Why can't I speak?

Different people walking in and out

I can't breathe very well.....

Why can't I reply?

More people?

Class 1-A?

What are they doing?

Why can't I move?

Monoma?

What does he want?

My bestfriend?

Dad, papa, I'm so sorry

Eri you- don't give up your childhood over me

Why won't my eyes open

Who's sobbing?

Denki........

Kaminari pov (same time as Shinso nods in and out, thinking gibberish)

I watch as my friends and classmates whisper among themselves.

The first four to go in were Bakugou, Deku, Todoroki, and Kirishima. Kiri and Deku came out full blown sobbing while Bakugou and Todoroki had tears in their eyes.

Oh god, this is going to harder than I thought.

The next few to go in we're Iida, Ochako, Tsuyu and Monoma. Monoma came out crying and looking down at the ground sadly. Tsuyu, Ochako, and Iida all came out sobbing as they walked over to the others that already were sobbing.

I should see if they're okay. Why can't I move? What is this feeling?

I watch as the next group goes in. The group consists of Jirou, Tokoyami, Shoji, and Momo. They all come out of the room looking even sadder than usual.

Why does my chest hurt so much? I can't breathe. Oh god

The next group consisted of Aoyama, Mina, Akasuki, and Kendo. Mina, Kendo, Aoyama come out with the saddest looks on their faces, with tears streaming down their faces. Akasuki comes out and runs up to me and wraps me in a hug, sobbing.

"Why him? Out of all the people, why him?" She asks whispering into my ear as I lean my head on her shoulder.

"I don't know, he wouldn't get the surgery. I wish he would have told me who he had fallen so hard for though." I say

"I'm so sorry, I know you love him. And not the way I do." Akasuki says as she stops hugging me and joins the others.

Why did we have to fight. Did I cause this? Was it over stress? Who has done this to him? Why would they do this? Why wouldn't he get the surgery? He should have just gotten the surgery. No love is worth this.

"Kaminari....." Mic says putting a hand in my shoulder.

"It's our turn.. " Aizawa finishes.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper quietly as we walk in.

We all sit down, Mic, Aizawa and Eri to the right of him and me to the left.

"This is the hardest decision we ever had to make as parents. We could handle adoption twice even, but this. This was definitely icing on the dysfunctional cake. Look kid, you know I'm bad at these things but I love you. I'll miss you everyday and I just had to let you know I love you, kid. " Aizawa says getting up and hugging Shinso, crying as he takes his seat again by Mic and Eri.

"I've never been good at feeling either but you were one of the best things in my life. You and Eri have brought so much happiness to my life. I'm so sorry we ever doubted your decision. Even if we didn't agree we should have understood. After all we were both young at one point. I love you son, I'm sorry we couldn't help you sooner." Mic says crying into Aizawa's shoulder as Eri looks at them then at me.

"I'll miss you brother. The house is gonna be quiet without you playing your music all the time. It's going to be sad when I don't have to get you up every morning. Actually a lot of things are gonna be sad, like not watching your face light up every time you check your phone in the morning. Or watching you try to fix your hair. Nit to mention when we watch my little pony. Heck, I'd even take you yelling at me over something dumb at this point." Eri says pausing to wipe her tears.

"It's gonna be really hard to live without you but I'll make sure papa, dad, and him are okay. Just for you, deal? I love you" Eri says looking at Shinso, then at me.

She understands more than I do. She's been through so much already now this? I don't know what to say. My mind can't work the one time I actually need it too. Oh god when I find the guy that killed my bestfriend he's dead. Does his family know? No I can't ask them, especially not now....

We sit in much silence for a couple seconds before my sobs could then be heard as my body shakes.

The Aizawas' whisper and then get up

Why can't I say anything?

"We'll give you a minute....." Mic says as they walk out, instantly going to talk to the students that now sit in the hallway.

I have no words. Nothing I can admit, anyway.

"Heh, you were always way better at this" I say scooting the chair closer to his hospital bed.

I take both of his hands in my own and hold them, tightly.

He looks so peaceful. Almost like he's sleeping. Actually, he never sleeps this calmly.

I put my head on our combined hands as I try to think of exactly what to say, my mind spinning as I start crying.

"You- You know how bad I am at this. But I'm going to try, for you" I say crying as I look at him.

"I haven't been honest with you, I'm sorry. It's just- hard to admit but I don't really have anything to lose now." I say as I squeeze his hand, crying a lot more now.

"You ca- can't leave Shinso. Not now not yet, please. Eri, Aizawa, and Mic need you to wake up, I need you to wake up. I can't-" I say quietly, sobs escaping me as I try to speak more.

"You- you know how they say 'You can't love someone  until you love yourself.' Well that's bullshit... I have never loved myself, but you oh god. I loved you so much, I forgot what hating myself felt like....." I say, looking down at his hospital bed.

"I won't be able to keep my prom- promise. I can't live without you- I love you Shinso, please wake up........" I say laying my head on his chest, sobbing.