dear beomgyu,

24

dear beomgyu,

summer of 2012 when you almost stopped talking to me because of your jealousy towards daniel. you still won't stop being jealous of him because of your sentiments that "daniel is always by my side" or that "daniel will be my best friend" and other sentiments.

daniel and his family moved to my neighborhood and since i was the only one he knew there, he was always at home. i told almost everything in my whole life and i didn't skip that part.

at first, you always take your jealousy as a joke but as days go by, i noticed how your replies went dry, i thought there was a big problem but maybe there really was.

you were a competitive person. and you never wanted to lose. even in the spot of being my best friend. i don't know how many times do i need to knock it off to you that i'll never replace you as my best friend.

that summer, i was enrolled in a dance class again together with daniel. i can say we've gotten pretty close but not that close to the point that i tell him everything about my life.

in our chats, you always talk about me forgetting you and not making a time for you when i told you i have a dance class and an art workshop and you go to school and sometimes we had conflict in free time. i almost got mad at you for always bickering and always telling me to go and talk to daniel because that's what i always do.

we fought. we didn't talk in five days. i didn't know how i survived those days of not talking to you because it basically became a part of my daily routine. i always cried at night because i miss you but my pride just didn't let me get my phone and contact you.

daniel would always ask me why my eyes were puffy every morning he and his brother picked me up at home to go to the dance studio. i would always say i was watching a movie or reading a book and he always bought my reason.

i didn't know how to contact you. i didn't know how to start a message. i was the one who got mad first and i don't know will i be able to make it up to you.

it was hard, beomgyu.