dear beomgyu,

31

dear beomgyu,

since then, our friendship was never the same.

it became better. you became more caring and thoughtful.

most times of the day, we were talking to each other virtually— chats, calls, video calls. almost every month, you were sending me gifts and letters.

every morning, i received good morning texts, voice records, and pictures of you. and every night, you always sang to me. you were always calling me to send me to sleep while singing a lullaby. your voice was my lullaby.

you were the most supportive when it comes to all my social media posts and covers. you told me you were my number 1 fan. you made me become so dedicated.

you always asked how my day went, how was i feeling. you always reminded me not to skip meals and drink water. you always told me to stay safe and avoid sickness. you always assured me that you will always be there for me. you always told me i was special. you were the sweetest, beomgyu.

you were always there when i needed you the most. on my rainy days, you were my sun. you were always the one who brightened my day. you were my shoulder— even though you weren't by my side physically, you were always with me.

your jealousy towards daniel never faded, though. in fact, it became more intense. you never told anything about it but i saw it in your eyes, i saw it through your messages. i knew it wasn't just a jealousy because of the spot of being my best friend. i knew it was something else.

i knew there was something different— from your words to the way you looked at me to the way you cared for me. i knew. i felt it. i'd been developing a foreign feeling. i knew you too.

or maybe i was wrong.

maybe it was just me who thought that there was something different. maybe i was the only one who ended up developing a foreign feeling. maybe it was just me all along.

you never told me. you never made it clear. was i right, beomgyu? did you like me too? or was it all just in my head?