dear beomgyu,

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dear beomgyu,

my friendship with daniel changed too. unconsciously, i avoided him to make time for you. i didn't notice that i was being distant to him to the point that he would do different things to get my attention.

i knew that i was his only friend and the fact that i unconsciously avoided him made him different. he wasn't the violent type but he always got into fights. i would always see him with bandages all over his face at school. his parents weren't always at home and his brother just didn't care about him being violent and physically hurt. supposedly, i was the one who's going to be there for him.

i told you how much i felt guilty and lacking as his friend. you always told me that it wasn't my fault why he became like that. but that wasn't what i felt. i felt like i was responsible. for the past months that i've been distant to him, he started being different. i knew that it was his choice. but it always crossed my mind that i may be one of the reasons why he became like that.

i tried to make you understand but you never seemed to get it because you weren't in my place. daniel was my friend, too. and i was his only friend whom he can talk and share his problems with. you know that i can't just let him ruin himself and let him alone by himself.

his mother would always ask me to take care of him and that was the only thing i could do to help him. i've seen his character development. i saw how much he changed when i started talking to him again. i saw the difference in his eyes. and i was afraid.

i was afraid that that might lead to something else. i knew it wasn't right.

and i got caught up in a big confusion.