Missing Pieces

Chapter#10: Taste Of Death

We were just doing fine. But in a few days, his behavior changed a bit. May be because of our kiss, he felt guilt and started avoiding me. May be. I don't know. We had an argument on something and I just couldn't tolerate it anymore. I cried. I don't know if I fell in love with him at the first sight. But I did fall so deep, when he hugged me so tight. I was sinking. And he became a part of my soul. I cried so much. I'd been a self harm addict for years. I smoked cigarette sometimes when I was stressed, but I wasn't a drug addict. Then I wrote a note, "I'll be waiting, don't take too long. In these moments, before my departure, I feel more clarity than I've ever felt. In one minute, I'll be free from the voices, from pain, from you... I don't want to hurt you or anybody. So please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend. And thanks for your memories". I switched off my phone and attempted a suicide. It was a failed attempt unfortunately. My family took me to hospital in time, and unfortunately, I was saved. Shirley called Sedrick and told him all about this the next day. He was so worried. I was unconscious for 15 hours. Then I got normal and when I was able to talk, I talked to Sedrick on call. He spoke some good things to me. But it never mattered what he talked about, his voice was soothing to me. I was better. And I hate hospitals. But the next morning, police came. Investigations got delayed because I didn't die, I was saved. I gave them a wrong statement and the case was closed. I didn't take Sedrick's name. I didn't want him to get in trouble. I recovered quick. I have a good immune system, more than average.
After two days, Sedrick got angry on me for no reason. And I couldn't understand what was the point. After an argument, we blocked each other on Whatsapp. I cried the whole night again. It was like as if it ended forever and I would never be able to talk to him again. I just couldn't deny my feelings! I couldn't let him go! But I couldn't force anyone to stay with me... I wanted him, but I wanted him to love me, not just to stay with me. May be he needed space? He could have asked me for it. We could have discussed. But he was angry. I could clearly see that. And I was a cry baby, I immediately felt down and I had tears in my eyes, when he just talked to me so harshly. He never behaved like that...

What would be next? Make guesses in the comments below!