Missing Pieces

Chapter#14: Life Changed

4 years spent like that. Contacts were reduced but not ended. Sedrick was studying Chartered Accountancy and I was graduated now, I got a job. And now I wanted to be independent. I separated from my family. I was living on my own now. Life was different for me. Totally different. Sedrick was still in his studies. His relationship with Tilda was stronger now. And my love for him was still the same as it was 5 years before in the beginning. Tilda was also graduated. As she was free now from studies, Sedrick told me that she was going to Germany to visit her cousin. I realized that Sedrick will be available now for a few days. The next day, I called Sedrick,
"Hey! Sedrick"
"Hello!"
"How're you doing?"
"I'm doing great, what's you're up to?"
"Nothing. We haven't met in a while... I was thinking about a meet up"
"Alright girl. Where to-?"
"Tinker's park? At 5?"
"Ok. See ya there"
So, I was excited about it...
At 4, I started preparing. I took a shower. Picked out a floral dress and matching pumps. Hair were blow dried. I was looking simple but decent.
At exact 5, I was at Tinker's park. I saw Sedrick. He was wearing a dark blue check shirt. Blue and Black were my favorite colours. We talked for hours there. Then I asked him if he's ok for an ice cream. He agreed. We went for an ice cream then he took me to his apartment. He lived alone in New York City, his family was in London. He was also English. Anyway, it was already 8 pm. We talked, and watched TV, and played, and ate and every fun. Lastly, we got drunk. That was a mistake. We kissed. We kissed for the second time. Not just this, all I remember is: waking up with Sedrick in his bed. We did everything we could. I was numb for a moment when I woke up. Our clothes scattered here and there, a broken wine bottle on the floor and everything messed up. But we laughed again. And he hugged me. We prepared breakfast, talked for while and then I left. I'd already had enough of it.
I came home. I was tired. I laid down in my bed. I was thinking about Sedrick. More than him, I was thinking about Tilda. What would she do if she gets to know about it...? She'll get mad at him. She would definitely leave Sedrick and I didn't want that. I was feeling guilt. I didn't want to do that. I didn't mean that. I really wasn't supposed to interfere in his happy life. I couldn't ever interfere in someone's relationship... I'm not like that... I was crying. I was crying so much. I couldn't explain anything to myself. I cried but I made a decision. I made up my mind. I'll end up contacts with Sedrick. That was the best thing for the time. It was difficult for me. But nothing's impossible. I could do it. It wouldn't effect my love for him, at all. I thought about it for 3 days. I discussed about this with D and Austin. They both suggested me to leave him for sometime at least. But I decided to make a decision for a lifetime now.
"Sedrick?"
"Hello. Yes?"
"Can we meet today?"
"Uh.. Silvestra I don't wanna do that all again. I made a huge mistake. I'm sorry Silvestra."
"I know Sedrick. I lost my virginity to you when you're not even my boyfriend, but it's ok. And we were drunk. It's no big deal. Alright."
"Thank you, Silvestra."
"But I want to talk about something important today."
"Alright."
"Same place, same time!"
"I'll be there."
I met Sedrick and told him whatever I had decided.
"Silvestra, we can stay friends."
"No Sedrick, I can't suppress my emotions like this. We need to do this."
"Alright. I won't force you, if you want so. It's ok, I respect your decision."
I gave him a smile, and we gave each other a final goodbye with a hug. I turned and tears started to fall off my cheeks. I rushed to my home. I slammed the door and fell on my bed. I started crying. I cried for hours, I don't know how much time I cried and fell asleep.