Gilded Butterflies ✔

23 ♡ shame on me

A/N: Hey guys! By now you've probably realised that I try to portray my characters realistically which sometimes involves them making bad choices that make us feel uncomfortable and make us begin to dislike the character. In this chapter Nora (SPOILER ALERT) is going to do something not smart and it will make us all frustrated. I'm writing now to ask you not to stop reading or to comment hateful things about her no matter how frustrated you get. The reason I've been putting off updating is because I'm afraid of public reaction so please be respectful. Love you all with all my heart.

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Nora's chest felt tight again. She wanted to cry but she could barely breathe so as tears trickled down her cheeks only silence sounded in the room.

However, in that deafening silence she heard something she shouldn't have coming from the adjoining room. It was muffled so she couldn't make out any words but the voices clearly belonged to the two people she had wanted to talk to each other all night. Madeline and Spencer.

Nora stood up, suddenly intrigued by the conversations and placed her ear against the wall. They were arguing about something. Maybe Spencer and Madeline had no future together. Nora was trying to force two of the same poles of a magnet together. It was her fault that Spencer was there. And now, neither Spencer or Madeline were any better off. In fact, they were probably even more angry at each other and it was all Nora's fault.

God, she was pathetic.

As if destroying her own relationships wasn't enough, Nora just had to destroy the already fragile friendship between Madeline and Spencer just because she thought they were 'good for each other'. Nora was a sad, sad girl.

And of course she went crawling back to Oliver! She deserved an asshole like him anyway. What was perhaps the most pathetic about her at that moment was that, despite all the guilt, she still wanted to go back to Oliver. If he were in front of her right then, she would be too weak to push him away.

And then of course there was the issue of Ben who was waiting for her back in Manhattan. It was ironic really. Nora did to Ben what he did to his ex-wife; she kissed someone while they were on a break. It wasn't like she still didn't love Ben but she had so much damn chemistry with Oliver. He ripped her out of comfort zone and plunged her into a world of excitement and ecstasy. With Ben, Nora was happy but with Oliver Nora felt exhilarated.

While still silently crying, Nora let out her hair and unzipped her dress, pulling on a fluffy robe to lounge in. Her head and heart felt weighed down by guilt and all she wanted to do was sleep so that she wouldn't have to spend another minute thinking about what she did.

Then someone knocked on her door and the course of her night was significantly changed.

She had a feeling she knew who it was but for some reason still looked surprised when she found Oliver standing behind the door.

"W-what are you doing here?"

Oliver got down on both knees and looked up at Nora.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't leave if you don't forgive me Nora."

He was being selfish by expecting Nora to forgive him so quickly but of course, like always, everything melted away and Nora went back to being the lovesick fool she was in high school.

"You hurt me. I can't..." She whispered unconvincingly.

He held both his hands together and shook them in a pleading motion. "Please, Nor."

Nora knelt beside him because it felt wrong for her to look down at him. She didn't deserve such a superior position.

"No, Nora, stand up-"

"I fucking hate you, you know that?" She cried, not bothering to hide her tears anymore.

Oliver used his thumb to wipe the tears of her face and held her face gently. "You can't. You know you can't. There is nothing but love between us, Nor. Do the right thing. Be happy."

Nora's pounding heart told her what to do. So she kissed Oliver. Hot tears streamed down her face and the overwhelming feeling of guilt she had could not be masked no matter how hard she tried. Oliver closed the door as they both stood up and attacked her with little kisses. He was right. It was all just pure, unconditional love between them. They were both terribly flawed but that didn't matter. And despite everything, despite the broken dreams and broken home and broken hearts, Nora felt good kissing him. Not overjoyed or sad or angry- just good. Like she was getting what she deserved.

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Everything felt wrong.

When Nora woke up tangled in a mess of bedsheets and Oliver's legs, she felt a dull pain in her heart. The kind of pain that resulted from irreversible mistakes.

She turned around to face Oliver in hopes that seeing his face would soothe her but she felt none the better staring at him with his mouth slightly open and his chest rising up and down slowly.

Oh god, what had she done?

As she tried to slip out of bed, Oliver's eyes fluttered open and a lazy smile appeared on his face.

"Hey, babe."

Babe. She was his babe now. She physically felt sick.

"Shit," She gasped, beginning to hyperventilate.

Oliver's smile was replaced with a look of worry. "Are you okay?

Nora leaped out from the bed, desperately putting distance between them as she covered her body with a discarded robe. She rushed around the room stuffing her things into her Louis Vuitton weekend bag as Oliver began to realise what was going on.

"You can't leave! How can you just leave me again?"

Her phone buzzed alive as she turned it on, revealing fourteen missed calls and twenty six messages from Spencer and Madeline. She only had time to read one text.

'How could you tell him to come, Nora? Don't even bother come to the wedding if you can't support my decision to stay with Blake'

Nora winced as she pocketed her phone and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Can you stop and breathe for a second? What's wrong?"

"Please stop talking. I need to get away from here. Don't call me."

"Nora!"

Nora groaned and turned around to face Oliver for the first time that morning. "I hate what I become when I'm around you. This was all a mistake. I have a boyfriend, Ol!"

"Does he make you happy like I do?"

Nora scoffed and opened the door. "You don't make me happy."

And with that, she ran out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

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