Drummer boy [5sos]

Chapter 9

"What where you thinking? Why would you do that? I can't loose another son!" she yelled as I sat up in my hospital bed. she doesn't want to know what I was thinking.

"I'm sorry" I say almost in a whisper. these bandages in my arm were getting itchy and I had a clipboard next to my bed that said SW. in other words, I was on suicide watch.

"Ashton, I love you so much, please don't leave me" I wrap my arms around her.

"I was being selfish, I'm so sorry, I won't leave you" it was true, I was being selfish. she had just lost a son and i didn't think about how it would effect her if I died as well.

I quickly looked up when there was a nock on the door. "we can come back later if you want" Luke said.

"No no, you guys come in, I'm going to go get something to eat" the guys walked in holding many balloons and stuffed animals and my mum left giving them a weak smile. she looked like she hadn't slept in months.

"Hey buddy!" Michael said way too loudly wrapping his arms around me. he handed me a teddy bear "I named him for ya, ted" he said and the other guys chuckled a bit.

"Thanks mate" I say not really in the mood to laugh.

"Ya gave us a scare there, mate" Calum said joining Michael sitting on my bed. Luke was quiet and just stood there.
I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. The room was quiet for a bit

"guys, can I speak to Ashton alone" Luke asked. the other two looked at each other and quickly exited.

Luke started crying and I didn't know what to say so I jumped out of bed and wrapped my arms around him "I'm sorry Ash, I'm so sorry" he cried.

"Sorry for what?" I asked really confused about what he just said.

"I shouldn't have left, I should have been there for you and at school. I knew you were nervous about school and on top of that..."

"No, no, it was not your fault" I said "you guys possibly saved me from doing that sooner and you guys were the ones that found me. your the reason in still standing here!"

He stepped away "I'm sorry about harry" I flinched at his name. "God! sorry I'm so stupid"

"No it's alright, your actually the first person to say his name since... it's nice to hear his name again." I start tearing up.

"Remember what I said before?"

"What?"

"It's okay to cry, and now of all times is when nobody can judge you for doing so" he gave me a weak smile and I just cried.

"You and your family are staying with us for the time being so when you get out of here you do have a place to go" Luke said after I calmed down a bit.

"Thank you"

"Can we come in yet?" Calum said opening the door.

"Yeah, we got some ice cream!" Michael said excitedly.

"Sure, come in" I said sitting back down.

"Yay! ice cream party!" Calum said entering the room with a tub of ice cream.