phone calls // mgc

thirteen // lost

i've been so lost without ella, and i can't believe i'm saying that. i mean all i did was accidentally call her, and now i love her. i care about her feelings more than mine. i've been watching a lot of american horror story recently, the first season of course. ella does remind me of violet, so sweet so beautiful yet so sad.

calum did come back, and he still was a dick. i hate him. it makes me sad though, because as a child calum was nice to me. he told me to kill myself a lot, but he still was nice to me and didn't call me worthless. he was the only person in my life that didn't call me worthless or a freak. 2 days before i called ella, calum disappeared. i think he knew i was going to talk to her, he's always been like that. it's creepy. for example, he told me that my father was going to die 2 days before he actually did die.

i feel empty and emotionless without ella. she was the only person who could make me feel. i'm numb to everything without her. i need her voice. her giggle. her wit. her humor. her.

she doesn't want you, michael. she wants someone normal. you're not normal. you're a freak.

i just ignore him. that's what i've been doing lately, and i'm proud of myself. he may be there, but i can't let him take over my brain. no matter how many times a day he tells me to die or that ella is gone, i will ignore him.

i hope you know that i can read that fucked mind of yours, michael. you can't ignore me forever. you'll crack. i'm surprised you haven't killed anyone yet. oh wait.

michael: what do you mean by "oh wait"?

you don't remember? silly boy. you killed your father, michael.

michael: my father died in a car accident! you're a liar!

you actually believed that? your mom only told you that, so she wouldn't scare you. that night your parents were arguing you got angry at your dad, and boom. he's gone. it's all your fault.

michael: no, you're lying! i would never kill anyone!

you're a monster. you're a monster. you're a monster. you're a monster.

michael: I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU'RE MAKING UP LIES TO MESS WITH MY HEAD CALUM! THATS ALL YOU DO! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! 2 DAYS BEFORE HE DIED YOU PREDICTED HIS DEATH!

you're a monster. you're a monster. you're a monster. you're a monster.

i layed on my bedroom floor, and started to cry. i just miss ella. i want her to be okay.

please leave your message after the tone

beep

michael: i-i don't know how much longer i can do this, ella. calum's voice is in my head, and he's repeating the same words over and over. i just need you. i miss you, and i love you. please come back.

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i actually put myself in tears writing this oUCH I'M HURT BAD but i love you guys so much and btw the next chapter will be the last but since i'm nice i'll do an epilogue right away ;D