Summer Break (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 5

I barely slept at all that night. I kept repeating last night over and over again in my head. I didn’t know what to think, I was so confused. About me, about the way I felt. And the raging headache I had wasn’t helping me think straight.

But what we did- what I did last night must of hurt Alexander too. I didn’t have to be so rude and cold towards him. I had never felt this shit. I wished I could rewind everything and make it all okay again.

Maybe a cold shower would help for a thing or two.

Just as I was getting out of the shower there was a faint knock on my door and my mom poked her head in.

“Can I come in?” I nodded.

“You came back late, what did you guys do? Had fun?” She questioned. What could I say? That we broke into an abandoned building, got wasted and to top it all off kissed another boy and ruined everything? So I decided to lie and say,

“We just hang, nothing really interesting.”

“Well honey get ready we’re going eating.” She said before exciting the room. I didn’t want to leave this hotel, but I guess I had no choice.

We got into the cab that took us to the restaurant. I didn’t know where we were going and if I had I would have stayed at the hotel. We arrived to the same restaurant where Alexander worked. All I was hoping for was that he wasn’t there today. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to bump into him.

I was anxious as we sat at the table waiting for the waiter, who I hoped wasn’t Alexander. But my luck wasn’t with me. Alexander walked over to the table, but he hadn’t noticed me yet which was good.

“What can I get you to-“ He started but stopped when he spotted me. I turned my head away from him blocking him out.

“Sorry, so what can I get you?” He said coldly. I stared at my hands in my lap for a moment. I couldn’t do this. I had to get out.

I leaned closer to my mother and whispered to her, “I’m not feeling well… Can I go?” She nodded.

I got up from the table quickly running past Alexander out of the restaurant.

Not long after I heard Alexander voice behind me shouting my name. I turned around to face him.

“Can we talk, please?” He asked. He looked so miserable. I sighed as I stoked my fingers thru my hair.

“I- I don’t know.” I stuttered. “And aren’t you supposed to be working now?”

“That can wait, this is more important.” He said and continued, “I really need to talk to you. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.”

I had to agree with him on that one. But I don’t know was I ready, I was still confused about everything.

“Come on, let’s go talk somewhere more private.” Alexander suggested grabbing my hand and dragging me with him. Even having him hold my hand made me feeling weird inside.

We sat there in silence. I wasn’t sure where to start, so I decided to start with an apology.

“I’m sorry and I’m sorry if I hurt you.” I said shortly.

Alexander looked at me and spoke, “Me too, we were wasted and not thinking straight. Like you said it was a mistake.”

It wasn’t a mistake. I couldn’t believe what I was going to admit next but I had to, it was killing me. “I’m not sure how to say this but I… I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“About what?” Alexander asked, confused.

“I mean the kiss. I can’t stop thinking about it. How it made me feel. How I have felt towards you ever since I saw you for the first time. I’m so confused, Alexander. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” I sobbed. Alexander wrapped his arm around me pulling me closer to comfort me.

“Shh… It’s going to be alright…” He whispered in my ear. I felt so much safer in his arms. I’m a mess.

I lifted myself up, looking straight into Alexander’s green eyes. I felt like the whole rest of the world had disappeared, leaving Alexander and I alone. My eyes drifted down to his lips. I slowly leaned closer and closer to him. I gulped before pressing me lips to his. I slowly started to kiss him and could feel him kissing me back. I had kissed few girls in my 17 years but none of them could compare to this. I didn’t want it to end, it felt so right.

The kiss ended and we gave each other a faint smile.

“So… what now?” He asked slightly out of breath.

I breathed in and out and said, “How about we take it slow and see where this goes, alright?” Alexander nodded and gave me a little kiss on the forehead.

“But does this make me gay then?” I questioned.

“It depends; do you find other guys attractive?” I thought about it awhile, but the truth was I didn’t, it was just him. I shook my head, “it’s just you.”

“Awh I feel special.” Alexander joked. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked towards to hotel.

We arrived to the hotel and we hugged our goodbyes. Alexander gave a little kiss on the cheek before whispering in to my ear, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Just as I stepped into our hotel room I was attacked by my mother. She was hugging me very tightly.

“Mooom…” I stuttered out. She realized that she was hugging me too tightly and let go.

“I’m sorry baby, we were just worried about you. We thought you were coming back to the hotel but when we came back you weren’t here.” She cried out.

“I went on a walk.” I explained.

“For over 3 hours?!” She questioned. “Yeah…” I trailed off.

“Alright I believe you but next time call or text.” She said hugging me for the last time.

I walked into my room and crashed on the bed. Holy shit. Was today even real?

I think I really was crushing on Alexander. On a guy, who could have guessed. But then again I’ve never had an actual girlfriend or anything so maybe that was a hint of some sort, I don’t know.

Soon I drifted off to sleep and dreamt about someone special…