Taylor's p.o.v:
I was used to faking smiles, but nothing was as fake as this. I hadn't ever been this sad before. But the media and my fans thought I was doing better than I ever was, so I had to fake it. I didn't want to disappoint my fans, because they'd seen me in my worst times already, and that was heartbreaking for them.
I took my time getting to my seat, because I knew as soon as I sat down people would start talking to me. Why was everyone so keen on talking to me? I didn't understand the hype, because conversations with me really weren't that amazing. People only really wanted to talk to me to take a selfie and get my autograph so they could brag about it to their friends.
I was seated next to Selena, which I was happy about. Though she wasn't nominated for anything, she came as Niall's plus one. Unfortunately, Harry's seat was in my eye range, so when I turned my head I could see him laughing with Ed.
"Taylor." Selena said, bringing eyes back to her. "Don't look over there. You're here to have fun, okay?"
"Yeah, sorry." I nodded.
"No need to apologise." She smiled half-heartedly. "The show's about to start."
"Ugh, the TCA's always go on forever." I groaned.
"I agree." She nodded. "And there's so many ads."
"The majority of the show is just people blabbering on and telling bad jokes." I said.
The night dragged on and on, dragging me down with it. I was nominated for several awards, but I only won one, humph. Not saying I didn't appreciate the icon award, but i came a long way for this, and i had to endure hours and hours of this shit just for one award. Harry didn't win anything though, so that made me feel a little better.
"I think one thing I wish I would've known as a teen is mistakes are inevitable, like, I think sometimes you think if you try hard enough to make every decision perfectly, you think you can possibly ace life and never make any mistakes but it's normal to make mistakes." I said in my acceptance speech. "I just want you to know if you're out there and you're being really hard on yourself right now for something that's happened or for messing up or feeling embarrassed, it's normal. That's what's going to happen to you in life. No one gets through unscathed. We're all going to have a few scratches on us. So just please, please, we live in an insane world and in an insane time. Please be kind to yourself and please stand up for yourself. Please."
Gosh, i was good at giving advice, not gonna lie. But i should really learn to follow the advice i give more. I wasn't kind to myself at all, and i did make an awful lot of mistakes. Relationship mistakes were the norm for me. So that speech was mainly just me talking to Harry, to let him know i'm in pain, and i know i made the mistake and i'm sorry.
