The Void

Chapter Seven. Up and Down. Lies and Truths.

It isn't till I open my eyes the next morning that I realise the gravity of what happened yesterday, the absolute catastrophe that my life has become. Catatonic depression had me in its clutches for days, my stubbornness drew me out of my room and into my prey's clutches.

I somehow managed to shove her away without concussing myself and ending up dead despite the fact she's a vampire with superior strength to me. Rhydian didn't linger on it and so I didn't either, but it doesn't make sense, it's not possible.

God, and then there was dinner, having a borderline cheerful and teasing conversation with Rhydian while he divulged their history and let me draw aimless patterns on his hand. Kissing me on the forehead after delivering me home safely, despite the fact he swore he wouldn't look after me if Selena and Kyle failed. It didn't even seem like I inconvenienced them, it was almost like he enjoyed it.

I promised myself that I wouldn't fall into a false sense of security with the three of them, that trusting them is foolish even if comfortable. Then they apologised and I didn't just fall into their waiting arms, I fell into bed with them, I gave them my first orgasm just to feel some temporary peace.

Please. Make this all make sense, but I can't find my rational train of thought anywhere.

There's no doubt in my mind that it still hasn't all sunk in, everything was so intense that I am sure I'm missing things. Only Sel and Kyle both had smiles on their faces, like they weren't doing it to trick me, but because they wanted to.

That's the hardest pill to swallow, that maybe they don't think of me as some worthless human, but I've become important to them somehow.

Things were already complicated, and what happened last night has only made things even more so, blurring the boundaries of what should and should not happen. It could mean anything, and with no leads on what this tether between us all could mean, I'm just stuck waiting for them to figure it out.

It has to be me, the thing that's making this happen, that's the unspoken conclusion between them and I can tell even if they don't verbalise it. Who's to say that the reason won't lead them to kill me anyway.

All that to say, I can't find it in me to regret it, even if it feels like I was possessed by several different people yesterday. Like a manic episode I didn't know I suffered from. Now that my head is clearer, I think it was more than just the promise of peace that convinced me, it was this bond that continues to solidify between us.

A mate bond is tied to the soul, so I know it isn't that, but I can't figure out why we are tethered in a physical way. It doesn't make sense. Unless they are hiding that Vampires also have playthings that are tied to them for all of eternity.

I don't want to imagine what Rhydian will say when he finds out what we did last night, that might make me the most nervous out of all of it. There's no denying that my bond with him is stronger, different too, but how can he hate me going to them when he doesn't even like me. Up until yesterday he avoided me like the plague, and I realise the only reason he was around is because he was fixing the wedge I created between Selena and Kyle.

To be fair, I think it would have taken them longer to convince me to partake in what we did if I hadn't spent so long under Rhydian's heating gaze. So technically if he is mad at anyone it should be himself.

"How are you feeling?" Selena asks, appearing behind me in the bathroom mirror, curls escaping the loose ponytail atop her head. She's smiling at me, and it drains away some of the tension clinging to my bones.

"I'm okay, good I think" I smile, but it still feels forced as I trail the hairbrush, they gave me through the white-blonde strands of my hair.

Sliding onto the counter, she peers down at me as I work through the tangles of my hair. "You think?"