The Two of Us

Chapter 24 - God Knows

Chapter Twenty Four - God Knows

Khalid didn't know what he was thinking jumping in front of a random car, but watching a little kid get run over wasn't really on his bucket list. Friday prayer had been uneventful, the khutbah had been on the dangers of committing sins in public and Jamaal had conveniently had a last minute doctors' appointment or he was getting incredibly good at avoiding people. He'd just exited the mosque and was preparing to cross the street to his car, when a small shriek caught his attention. He looked over to a fallen child, clutching his ankle in front of an oncoming vehicle.

Next thing he knew, he was face to face with the hood of a car, the front bumper almost touching him.

Time stilled and Khalid watched as the world continued on, but in slow motion. A man got out of the car, shock printed on his face and Khalid recognized him as Sabrina's father. People were running towards them, and suddenly, Sabrina was in the crowd of stunned faces. Her eyebrows were raised and her lips were parted in surprise. He blinked and she was gone, replaced by a gasping woman who rushed past him towards her child.

It was then when time caught up to him and Khalid looked back at the kid. He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

It wasn't until he got home, stripped off his thobe and allowed himself to think. He had a butt load of schoolwork which he planned to do -- just not right then. It'd been a long, stressful, week -- well, more like life -- and Khalid was unsure if it was getting better or if he was just getting used to it. He was trying to get comfy in some old sweatpants and a hoodie when his phone rang. He glanced at caller I.D. and grimaced.

Jamaal.

Khalid hesitated. Since he'd found out that Khalid had killed his own brother, Jamaal had spoken to him on Thursday but was brief and stiffly formal. Khalid remembered how Sabrina had urged him to talk to his best friend, but he couldn't do that when Jamaal acted as if nothing had happened. Khalid dreaded the notion of bringing up his problems and it seemed as if Jamaal wanted to pretend they didn't exist. It wasn't like him to do that -- usually Khalid was the one brushing things off.

He settled on ignoring the call but even after his phone had long stopped ringing, he couldn't get Sabrina's words out of his head. Could he solve this mess? She'd suggested telling his parents the truth about Zayn and even the thought had him recoiling. They'd hate him. Even more than they did right now. His father would flip out.

How could he just tell them that he'd killed their beloved son?

He had to get out, because suddenly the air felt too thin and the walls were too high. Khalid grabbed a jacket and ran out, rushing past his parents. His mother called out after him but he could barely hear her over his deafening thoughts.

* * *

"Hey, Zayn." Khalid muttered sitting down before his brother's grave.

Of all the places he could have sought refuge, he'd arrived at Zayn's grave by some persistent force if not by choice. Zayn was buried with all the other Muslims who'd passed away, in a separate graveyard that was just outside the city. The only thing he could see were rows and rows of small, grave markers. He was here because he had to talk to someone. Had to say something. But he didn't know who to talk to and he didn't know what to say.

So here he was where only the dead could hear him.

"Why did you come after me that day?" He whispered suddenly.

Khalid could only guess. Because Zayn was always the one making things right? Because Zayn looked bad when Khalid was off doing drugs? Because Zayn wanted to keep up his good reputation? Because Zayn loved him? Khalid shuddered at the last one.