Lost Souls

Chapter 8

sorry for the long wait.having writers block.
how many of you actually like this book? im having an internal battle with myself to continue to write it or not. anyway; enjoy.xx
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Daenerys
"Hey wait Daenerys!" I hear from behind me.
I stop but I don't turn around. I know it's him. And I'm-I don't know what am I. Happy? Shocked? Whatever it is, I don't want to feel it again. So I keep walking.
"Daenerys" He says grabbing my wrist. And that's all it took for me.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME JON?! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BURNT OUT. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE" I scream at him with tears building up. I don't let them fall. I can't. Not in front of him. But the look he gave me was something I've never seen before.
"Come on. I'm taking you home" He says in a calm voice.
I don't know why I screamed at him. No I do. I just don't want to admit it to myself yet. But I follow him and get in because well I have nobody else to call. Miss will just worry and I don't want to ruin her date. And well that's the only person who cares about me.
"Where do you live?" He says all the while looking at the empty road ahead him to make himself not look at me.
"Up the road. The last house on the right" I say daring to take a look at him. His knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel. His another hand gripping the control shift. If you looked at his body language you would think he was bloody pissed. But his face looks calm.
After about 10 minutes of sitting in a comfortable silence we arrive at my-Missandei's house. It's nothing too big. But it's nothing too small. It's in a crappy neighborhood and yeah anyone can break in, but what would they take? Money? Ha, funny. Anything valuable? Again joke. My drugs? They can't take what's already gone the second I buy them.
I haven't moved from my seat. He hasn't moved or told me to get out. We both just look out in to the empty street with a tension in the air. It's kinda nostalgic in a way. The street that is. It's empty. No lights. Nobody walking. No noise. Just empty. Like me. No emotions. No fire in me. No strength. No; anything. He says something that breaks me out of my metaphorical head of mine.
"I wasn't judging. And yes I don't know you. That doesn't mean drugs is the answer. It wasn't for me, so why is it for you?" I sigh and keep my head down but I can feel his eyes on me.
"Thank you for the ride Jon." I say stepping out of his car. I walk into my house and never turn around to him. Because once I turn around then I'll break.
I get into the house and lean my back against the door. The tears start to build up as I walk up into my room and eventually come down stronger then ever. They come down not out of guilt. They come down because like I said. I'm burnt out.
I sit on my bed and pull out my stash of drugs. Molly. Ex. Acid. Weed. Cocaine. And I can't seem to bring myself to take any because all the while with blurry vision, sniffling and a noiseless house. There's only one question in my head.
"It wasn't for me, so why is it for you?"
It's not that I don't know why it is. It's the opposite really. I know exactly why I take the drugs every night and every morning twenty four seven. It's too feel something. Anything. The littlest bit of emotion is what I feel when I snort, smoke or pop any kind of drug.
But for that one night. That couple of hours. I don't take any. I just stare at them all. Thinking and breaking slowly inside out.
All because of Jon Snow.
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that one sentence is key.
i liked writing this and hope you enjoyed reading it
Xx.