Lost Souls

Chapter 14

hope everyone is staying healthy and safe.xx.
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Daenerys
We've been here for at least six hours. The sun is already down. I don't know the time. I don't want to know.  Your just working on the car and I'm just sitting here lost in my thoughts. It's quiet. Not uncomfortable, just quiet. Peaceful even. As if somehow, you, Jon Snow, are my peace.

"Why did you leave the army?" You stop what your doing and I immediately regret asking.

"I served my country for the time I was there and it was time to come home". You go back to your work and don't elaborate. You expect answers from me, but you won't give them. Not fully.

"Why do you take drugs?" You ask me going back to working.

I get off the chair and start to walk around the shop. I notice a wall full of pictures. I notice you smiling, you laughing, you looking happy. I have yet to notice that for myself. I don't think I ever will.

I'm looking at the photos and I notice one of a red headed women and you. Your looking at her tenderly and there's happiness in your eyes. I wonder if you'll ever look at me that way.

"Daenerys, you didn't answer my question". I don't turn around. I continue too look at the photo. I'm not jealous, well not fully. I'm envious. Envious I'll never know what that's like.

"You didn't answer mine Jon Snow". I say finally turning around smirking slightly.  You scoff lightly at that and look up at me.

"Is that an attitude I'm catching?" You say smirking back. I smile softly at that sight.

"An attitude? Oh I would never give you the infamous Jon Snow an attitude" my smile continues to grow and soon it becomes a full one.

"There it is". You say back smiling so softly that you have to have a magnifying glass to see it, but I notice it.

"There's what?" I question confused.

"That smile. I've been wondering when it was going to pop up." You stop working and clean off your hands. You just look at me. I shake my head and laugh lightly. I walk over to you and sit on the hood next to you. Our arms are brushing lightly together.

"To feel something. Anything." I sigh looking into nothingness.

"It's only a temporary feel that eludes you from real feelings." You say looking over at me.

"What if I don't want the realness? What if I like the temporary?" I say looking up at you.

"Then you wouldn't be here with me. You wouldn't be sitting on the hood of this car talking about it with me. You wouldn't have told me what you told me at the cemetery. And you wouldn't have come looking for me the other day. You don't like the temporary Dany. Your just afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"You tell me." Your still looking at me. What? You tell me? I don't know what I'm afraid of. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of spiders. But I don't think that's what we're talking about and that doesn't have relevance to this. So what, your just going to tell me I'm afraid of something but not tell me what that is? What the hell?

"Come on, its late. Let me take you home". You say breaking me out of my head. Home. Funny word. What is home?

We get back into your car and now we're driving back to my place. I don't want to go. I don't want to stay in that room. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to leave you. I don't want. I don't want this to end.

Fuck it.

"Can I stay at your place?" I say looking over at you.

You hold the steering wheel tighter. You exhale and look over at me.
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enjoy. stay safe and healthy please. Xx.