Lost Souls

Chapter 10

.xo. time jump.
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Daenerys
    You know when people ask you if you love them or why you didn't say you loved them back? And you just look at them and all you can think is how can I love you when I can't even love myself?
Well here I am standing at my mothers grave thinking, how can I love anyone after loosing you? How can I possibly move on from loosing you? How can I wake up every morning and think it's okay I'm alive, but you aren't? How can I be here on this earth when you aren't? How?
    And within all those unanswered questions floating in my mind; I ended up here. At the body shop where you work. Standing here outside, looking at the sign that says "Ned's Car Shop". Standing here listening to the faint rock music and your laughing in the background. Standing here with my cigarette hanging in my two fingers just sitting there; burning slowly. Standing here wondering if I'll ever come into those doors or am I going to walk away and just forget everything.
    And within all those thoughts going through my mind I end up here; ringing this bell at the desk. Ringing the bell seeing this reddish/brown haired girl come out and asking "Hi I'm Margaery Stark; how can I help you?" Ringing this bell and answering
"Hi I'm looking for Jon. Jon Snow? Is he here?" Ringing this bell, hoping; no praying to the old gods and new that you aren't here. Ringing this bell and with this girl Margaery Stark answering that you are here and if I want to see you.
   And within that statement; I answered no and left. Within that statement I walked and walked till I was here. Within that statement I ended up here at my mothers gravestone where it reads; "Rhaella Targaryen. Beloved mother and wife. The sun and stars of the universe"; oh how that was true. Within that statement I broke.
   I broke tonight. I broke at home alone. I broke in my room with the thoughts I own and so desperately want gone. I broke tired. I broke with the saying in my mind "a Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing". I broke because a Targaryen alone in the world is truly a terrible and lonely thing in this world. I broke because it was true.
I broke when  I heard the doorbell ring. I broke when I walked down the stairs. I broke when I opened the door. I broke when I saw it was you.
You. You came here. You stood on my porch. You asked me "hey, Margaery told me you came by today. Is everything okay?" You looked at me and saw my red eyes. You knew that everything was indeed not okay.
"Can I come in?" You asked me so softly.
So softly that I didn't even need to hesitate when I opened the door more and let you in. I didn't even hesitate when you and I turned around to face each other and I hugged you. I didn't even hesitate when you hugged me back and a tear came down my face.
I didn't even hesitate when I asked "can you stay tonight?"
You didn't hesitate to turn around and lock my doors . You didn't hesitate to walk me upstairs and into my room. You didn't hesitate to lay with me.
"I'm scared" I said to you so lowly.
"What are you scared of" you asked in a raspy voice.
"Of you. I'm scared of you" I said and fell into darkness.
I'm scared of you, Jon Snow. I'm scared that when I do fall in love with you, it will break me completely and I won't survive a minute of it. I'm scared of you.
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so there was a time jump.
but if you don't understand this chapter then message me. It was all in Daenerys point of view for a reason.
this chapter starts backwards. The middle/ends is the beginning but read it in the way it goes. It's a little confusing.
.xo.