Peter parker & Avengers// One shots

Protocol: TS Panic// Tony and Peter

Summary: Tony has PTSD, its no secret to anyone who meets him, only if they know what to look for. Most people just see his Press smile, and his snide remarks. No one see's his internal wars raging. Luckily for the man he has someone who can see right through his masks and can sense the battle before it starts. 

TW: Self harm, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks.

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Tony was having a bad day, no scratch that, a bad year. Actually to think of it a bad life.

Yeah, the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist had a horrible life. Yes he had the money and the fame, but he was alone. Ok fine so he had Happy, he might still have Pepper and Rhodey if he didn't screw things up with them, but of course he did. Pepper said that he offended her but refuse to explain how, and Rhodey was fucking paralyzed because of him so he left. Happy was a good, a great friend but he isn't there all the time. He has his own family to be with, so at the end of every day... Tony is alone. Alone with the thoughts swarming his head, telling him he is 'Worthless' and 'a coward' and that 'no one would ever love him'. All of those thoughts being screamed in the voice of his father, the one who sparked the flames and tended to them, growing them, into something Tony can't put out. 

Like every other night he's alone, sitting in his lab. He does this a lot, he will hide in his lab and refuse to eat or sleep. JARVIS will practically yell at him to sleep or eat, but without a physical form he can't get Tony to move. There is no one else in the tower to move him, yeah there are interns, but like hell if he's going to allow one up into the pent house to move him. 

It's been seven hours since his last meeting and he has spent every minute in his lab. Trying and re-trying to get the coding right for something he doesn't even remember the use of. It was at 3 in the morning after countless mistakes he decided he couldn't take it, standing up his vision started to swim and black dots darted across his field of view. He clutched the edge of the desk and leaned forwards, pressing his hands into the cold of the desk. His breathing was shallow and coming in and out in sharp bursts, he couldn't have this, not now. He tried to push the rising panic down but it soon began to spill over the edge. His muscles tightened as he fell to the floor, the memories flooding his sight and mind. 

Hands, many hands. On his chest, no not on... In carving out his ribs to make space for a metal cylinder, pushing his heart out of the way. Confining it to a small area, the pain as they cracked his ribs and cut his flesh, while he's awake. 

The memory faded as his consciousness did. He was jerked awake by the all to familiar feel of water covering his face, making it impossible for him to breathe. The shocks from the battery every time water splashed onto it. The men holding his head under and yanking it back out until he agreed to make the bomb.

Yinsen, his friend, the man who saved his life. Dead in front of him. No -NO he was supposed to save him they were supposed to leave together. He ran tried to get away but a bullet passed through the armor he built with his friend. His friend who was now dead. Blasting into the sky and falling fast into the sand, the suit falling away in pieces. Leaving him alone in the middle of a desert walking for hours and hours without water.

He's back at his house, about to talk to Pepper when a high-pitched whistle leaves him immobile. He watched through watering eyes, the hand of his father figure, grabbing a device. Feeling as the device is pushed onto the Arc reactor and feels as it is pulled from his chest. The shrapnel free to speed its way into his heart. Moving in slow-motion as he tries to save his own life.

He jerks back to reality shaking, he's on the floor of his lab, the temperature outside is 68 degrees and it is 4:37 Thursday morning. Wait he knows this how? Right JARVIS, the AI's cool and calm voice is speaking to him trying desperately to bring him back, to ground him.