Avengers Preferences

Barnes ~ Ghost of You

Name: Catherine

Age: 28

Powers: Trained Martial Artist

Relationships: Lover to Bucky

Time: Endgame

--

"Hi, Bucky, darling... this is the part where you would usually say 'Hi doll.' You would grab my hands and leave nothing but a kiss on my forehead. This is the 261st week without you here... I'm not entirely sure what to say about that anymore..."

My eyes left the camera lens, trying to find anything else to say.

"As you know, I've been making these videos every week. Updating you on my progress, letting you know what's happening at home. This morning... Steve gave me a call. He said they might have found a way to bring you back. I just... if I go to Steve later today and find out we can't bring you back... this is my last video. I can't pretend that you're coming back."

I rubbed underneath my eyes and took a deep breath.

"261 weeks ago, Thanos snapped his fingers... 262 weeks ago, you were right here by my side. We were sleeping in the same bed. I've kept your coffee cup in the same spot. You had told me to try it that day because you said it tasted funny... my lipstick smudged on the side, it's faded now.

 When aliens invaded Earth, we fought along side our friends in Wakanda. Tha-," I paused. "Thanos, he snapped, with this gauntlet, covered in 6 stones. Half of the population of everything disappeared. Our world has been chaos since then. We don't know where you went. There's been memorials put up, people are trying to continue with normal life. 

Tony is lost to us, Steve has been going to counseling. Him and I have dinner together every week.... Bucky, I watched your body turn to dust in front of my eyes. I couldn't do anything..."

Tears welled out of my eyes and I shook my head, snapping myself out of it.

"If you've watched the videos, you'd know I've been researching for 5 years. Those stones, they were infinity stones. Each with a very specific power. One is known as the soul stone... I believe you might be trapped in there. Except you also know that... Thanos is dead, and he destroyed the stones to avoid temptation. I don't know what Steve has planned to bring you back..."

"I wish you were here to tell me I'd be just fine... I found some of your old army pins in a box in the attic." I added, attempting to distract myself from what I wanted to say. "I wish... I wish I knew what was going through your mind when you faded... I've danced through our house alone, but I don't feel entirely alone. Sometimes it feels like you're here with me, but in a distant memory.... Why did I have to fall in love with you? I could've saved all this heartbreak."

I glanced towards the empty alcohol bottles that scattered the room.

"I started drinking again... I know I stopped when I met you but, without you here, I feel like I'm chasing down the sadness with shots." My voice turned raspy as I shook my head at myself. Bucky didn't like it when I drank... "I don't know-"

I was interrupted by a phone call from Steve. I picked it up with the camera still rolling. "Hey Steve, any news?"

"We need your help. We're assembling the team to retrieve the stones. We think that if we go back in time and get them back, then we can snap and-"

"Bring Bucky home." I finished, sighing in relief.

"Yes, bring Bucky home. We don't know if it'll work, or if we'll be successful. But we need all hands on deck. Tony's with us, we have Nat and Bruce, some new guys. We just need you. You have all the research about the stones being here on earth, what time periods they're in. We really need you. Bring Bucky home?" Steve's voice was reassuring. They had hope.

"Bring Bucky home." I whispered through the phone.

Looking back at the camera, I confidently said, "James Buchannan Barnes, if you're watching this, you're home. I love you."

—

I closed the laptop violently and threw my face in my hands. "Steve... she tried so hard to bring me back. I can't do anything to bring her back."

"She died an honorable death," Steve said assuringly.

"She still had so much hope, after 5 years even...."

Steve stood up, leaving me on the couch alone. "You know her, she wasn't the type to give up."

"I don't know what to do," I stated coldly.

Steve walked towards the door to leave, but quietly muttered, "The camera she used is in her dresser, farthest left drawer." He shut the door behind him.

I got up swiftly and went to her drawer. Everything was neatly in its place, untouched. I carefully retrieved the camera, bringing it back to the living room. I sat it down where she did and pressed record.

"Hi doll, it's me, Bucky...." I trailed off. How did she even do this?

"It's been 1 week since you've left me, for good. When I entered the final battle, you quickly found me. We hugged and kissed as if we hadn't in 5 years.... which was true for you. I cupped your face in my hands and observed your features. You were tired. Dark circles protruded from you face and your eyes were a slight pink. We went back to the fight. You wanted to go head to head against Thanos, I told you no. You did it anyways, of course...."

I choked on my words as I struggled to relive the final part.

"You saved Steve as he laid helpless on the ground for a few moments.... Thanos... impaled you with his spear... flicked you off as if you were a fly. I ran to your side and told you that you'll be just fine... and now here I am, sobbing because you're not fine, I'm not fine. I lost everything I ever loved in a single moment, just like you did."

I sat in silence for a minute, contemplating what to say next.

"I saw your videos. 261 of them. You never lost hope, even when everyone else did. I find myself as empty as you found yourself. I've danced through our house with nothing but the ghost of you..."

I fidgeted against my metal finger, before looking directly into the camera.

"I don't know if I'll ever get you back, but I won't lose hope. I love you, doll. Thank you for bringing me home."