A Talk To Myself Paper.. But Online

A Talk To Myself Paper: Mistake...?

I made a mistake.

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I thought Blue Eyes was the one I liked. My mind was liking Blue Eyes but my heart didn't tell me til yesterday that I liked Lee. FYUCKKKKKKK! Last night, Blue Eyes rejected me.. kindly. I was disappointed. I cried. It's ok. It's ok because someone helped me. It's ok because of Lee. I didn't realize how much I liked Lee until yesterday in 6th and final period. When I was texting Lee, I felt the need to tell him I liked him. I dropped hints first. Lee told me to talk more IRL with my crush. Therefore I told Lee "Lets talk more IRL then." At first he didn't get it but after the second time he did. Then he called me out for calling him ugly. I mean he is ugly but Lee himself has told me that looks shouldn't matter if I like someone. When I asked Lee what he thought about what I said, he said his heart rate went up a lil. I mean my heart rate went up a lot! He never sad I like you back so  I am not really sure what he feels like. I am pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about me. I even told him that I think he doesn't feel the same way. I am going to call him out later today about that. I am honestly so thankful for Lee though. Like this morning I told him to stand in front of me, he did. I told him to take his backpack off, he did. I told him to T-Pose, he did. Then I hugged him and told him thank you. He was confused but I explained. Tbh it felt nice to hug a guy. It's been a while since I have hugged a guy. Maybe Lee can be my homecoming date. Maybe not. IDK! He is in my next class. We [used to] sit across from each other. Why is he on my mine 24/7 now? All night I was thinking of him. I was thinking about how I was gonna execute the hug. It went well. I would  do it again but I need to figure out a new way to do it.

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Ok, So I switched Spanish class and Alfredo and I are the only freshman in this  class. Kinda weird. Maybe Alfredo knows people but I don't know anybody. This class already seems hard and I just got here. The worksheet is in spanish and ya gurl can't read or write in spanish so I have to take a new placement test to see where I belong. 

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I am in Composition class right now. We are learning how to properly write emails. We had to write an email to the teacher offering to fill in her eyebrows cause she forgot to.  PHYSICS!! WE HAVE A QUIZ! It was easy. I got to look at my Photo Cards when I was done. They were pretty. lol, Lilly was judging me. oh well that's Lilly's job. 

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Lee. yeah, this school year is not my year. Lee rejected me. I mean okay. I was just more disappointed that the person he actually liked was my friend. I don't know how I feel about that. It feels so hard to talk to Lee now. He is trying to interact with me but the interactions don't last long. Lucas, MY MAINNN, has been helping me through this even tho he is all the way in the Philippines. LIKE OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHH! He honestly is the best. No matter where he is in the world, he would help me. AWEEEE I THIN I AM ABOUT UWU WAY[V] TO HARD!

"The Way To Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing." – Walt Disney

+Yeah I promoted WayV.

++More about Lee in the next chapter.. But I am kinda losing inspiration to write about it.. A lot went down and Idk what I can say and what I can't...