When I am Real

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When I am alone

I think

And it does nothing for me

When I am by myself

I do something I don't want to do

Because there isn't anyone to share the things I want to do

When I am hungry

I sleep

For it helps the pain

When I do eat

I get sick

Nothing is good for me

When I am thirsty

I drink tap

Even though I don't know what's in the water

When I do drink

I drink

Enjoying my imaginary safe-net

When I am hung-over

I don't care

For it makes me feel human

When I ride the trains

I watch the land go by

Remembering when things were good

When I walk

I pray

Wishing that everything was okay

When I sing

I inspire

Dreaming of things that are good

When go home

I become afraid

What will we fight about tonight?

When I am home

I stay away

Hoping to hide from others

When I shower

I cry

Since the water hides my tears

When I weep

I am silent

Since no one will want to hear me

When I am tired

I become afraid

What if I don't wake up again?

When I am awake

I have nightmares

Wishing they would end

When I sleep

I have dreams

And I hope I don't wake up again

When I cut

I try to sleep

Wondering if this life is worth it

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