apologies // hemmings

three

        It was 7:30 in the morning and Alexis was currently in the bathroom for the fifth time that night and she was getting extremely fed up. All she wanted to do was sleep. She hated her disease and she hated being sick all the time and she hated taking meds and she hated missing school and she hated not remembering what it felt like to be healthy. She just wanted to feel normal.

        Unfortunately, in Alexis' particular situation there was no such thing as "normal" . Alexis was sick and although she was much luckier than her doctor's had thought at first, she was still stuck with a chronic disease - one without a cure. Which meant treatments and hospital visits and her favorite part of the gig - pills.

        It was the summer before Alexis' sophomore year of high school. She was ambitious and full of life and energy. She had dedicated a week of her summer to doing charity work in New York with underprivileged kids. It was only her second day of work when they got back from the local water playground in Prospect Park. It was hot - hotter than an average summer day in New York and she felt exhausted. When they made it back to the church they were working at with the children, Alexis was released back to her room after complaining of a stomach ache. Unfortunately, her room wasn't exactly her room. There were about 6 other girls staying in the same room, and they all had brought along air mattresses to sleep on, considering there was no furniture in the old house.

        That was another problem - the house. On the outside, it was a beautiful, historic church. On the inside, it was rotting away. Without any renovations from the past 50 years, at least, the building had no air conditioning. Nor did it contain more than two bathrooms - which seemed to be a problem for Alexis' current situation.

        She ran into the only bathroom on the ground floor and closed the door - as far as it would close, the hinge was broken as well. After realizing her symptoms were far from ordinary, she immediately found the nurse that was directing the charity project.

        She was instructed to stay in her room, and practically forced to sleep until she felt better. Alexis' didn't complain, however, she felt like she could sleep for days. But when she awoke the next morning with the same symptoms as the day before - arguably worse than before, as well - the nurse demanded that she visited the ER.

        It was an interesting trip, and I'll spare you the details, but after deciding that Alexis had a horrid case of the flu , she was no longer allowed to work with the children, and was bound to her room for the rest of the week.

        Alexis safely made it home - despite the grueling 17 hour bus ride back to Michigan - and much to her displeasure, she was still sick.

        It wasn't until many weeks (7, to be precise) and countless hospital visits that the doctor's finally came to a conclusion. Alexis had Ulcerative Colitis. (The doctor's had to explain to Alexis and her mother what Ulcerative Colitis even was before he went into treatment options.) She mindlessly nodded along throughout the conversation, not understanding a word the doctor was saying as her mother struggled to stop the tears from falling down her face.

The car ride home from the Children's Hospital was silent, other than her mother's constant sniffling and the faint sound of the radio playing from the speakers. Alexis hadn't said a word since the doctor had told her the news.

        How had one simple volunteer trip turn into something life shattering?

        When Alexis arrived back at her house, she quietly walked into her room, laid on her bed, and let her tears fall freely for what felt like hours on end.

        It had been more than two years since the disastrous milestone in Alexis' life, and she was still working on coping with it. It wasn't often when she would go to sleep without a mental breakdown. She struggled with her grades in school - not just keeping up from missing so often, but from finding motivation to keep going on. It was a constant struggle for her to be happy and actually have a good time. Despite it being her senior year of high school, she never felt more pressure and emptiness than she did then.

        Alexis laid in bed for another hour before drifting back to sleep, only to be woken up shortly after by her alarm clock.

        She struggled with herself for a few minutes before deciding she really didn't want to go to school today and pulled her covers back over her head. When her mother came in her room, Alexis simply groaned and somehow her mom knew that it was going to be a bad day, and left without a word, leaving Alexis to sleep in peace.

~~

i'm really sorry about that ending i didn't know what to do.

also sorry there's no luke but this chapter is so important to the story and to me because it gives a background of alexis and what's wrong with her and why she's the person she is and it's just really important ok.

it's my 16th birthday and i feel like shit so i decided to write a sick chapter

pls if you have UC or crohn's or any autoimmune disease or really any sickness at all PM me and we can talk bc like i know first hand how good it feels to talk to someone who actually gets it u feel

ok pls vote and comment and like actually let me know if people even read my shit story thanks ily