apologies // hemmings

fifteen

January and February were without a doubt the coldest months in Florida. With temperatures dropping to the lower thirties (Farenheit, of course), it paled in comparison to states like Michigan or New York; however, in Florida, thirty degrees might as well have been the start of the apocalypse.

Alexis shivered, pulling the sleeves of Ashton's oversized sweatershirt over her hands to keep warm, while Luke sat down across from her and placed a tray of food on the table.

"Was it really necessary to sit outside?" Alexis whined, picking at the fries that Luke had ordered for himself. Luke had decided it was time for Alexis to get out of the house, and without much energy to protest, she agreed. The pair had decided to go to Chick fil A to get food, and Luke insisted on eating outside, declaring it was a "beautiful day".

"I thought you were from Michigan, you wuss. It's not even that cold!" Luke teased and Alexis shot him a glare, eating another one of his fries before opening up her box of chicken nuggets.

"Don't mock me, I'll still kick your ass, kid."

"For the hundredth time, I'm older than you munchkin," Luke laughed, earning another glare from his friend, although this time more playful.

"So we're back to 'munchkin' now?" She whined, clearly not amused by Luke's nickname, having heard it too many times before she met him.

"We never left, sweetheart," He grinned before taking a sip of his drink. "So how's your mom? I haven't seen her around in ages," Luke questioned curiously and Alexis shifted in her seat.

"Oh, she just works a lot, y'know? I mean, she's got a day job, and then she bar-tends at night, and in between it all she's on the phone fighting to get my-" Alexis froze mid-sentence and her eyes darted up to Luke, who was looking at his food. When he realized she had stopped talking, he looked up as well.

"Fighting to get your what?"

"Um, my-her, well, our insurance for our, um..." Alexis trailed off, stumped. She wasn't supposed to let that slip. Luke wasn't supposed to know that her mom was having trouble paying for her doctor's bills. He wasn't even supposed to know she had doctor's bills that needed to be paid. He wasn't supposed to know anything.

She wasn't sure how to get herself out of this, but thankfully, Luke noticed her discomfort and dropped the question. "I like your mom, she makes the best cupcakes," He grinned and Alexis laughed, shaking her head.

"You never even eat the cupcakes, you just take a spoon and scoop icing out of the bowl in the fridge," She giggled.

"It's, like, the best icing ever, though! How does she even make it?" Luke defended himself excitedly.

"I don't know. You know I don't bake. Ask her to make a batch for you to take home sometime, I'm sure your mother would love it," Alexis shrugged with a smile on her face as she finished off Luke's fries.

"You know those were mine, right? I could've bought you some," He pouted.

Alexis shook her head, "They wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if they were mine, though," She giggled again, getting up to throw their trash away. When she returned, Luke was standing and watching her walk. She rolled her eyes at his boyish habits and he threw an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm having a really hard time not calling you 'munchkin' when you're wearing a sweatshirt that makes you look twelve."

~

Alexis was alone again. Luke had to work, Sydney was at practice (Alexis was too sick to participate, still), and Ashton was at conditioning for football.

She was laying in bed, surrounded by blankets, wrapped in Ashton's sweatshirt and holding Casey's teddy bear close to her chest.

Her mind drifted back to lunch earlier that day and she frowned. She felt horrible for not telling one of her closest friends such an important detail of her life. She hadn't even told her boyfriend about it. It was such a disgusting sickness. She didn't want anyone to know about her struggles. Alexis had decided long ago that telling people about her burdens only caused them to pity her; everyone treated her differently after they knew of her condition. She cared about Luke too much for him to think of her as a sick little girl that needed constant looking after. She wasn't that girl and she had worked so hard for so long to make sure everyone knew she was strong and independent. Alexis was so worried that if Luke knew that she was so sick and disabled, he would never treat her the same.

Unfortunately, Alexis also knew that Luke was getting suspicious. Her constant missing school and practice had him worried that Casey was the cause. For a long time he was considering beating the life out of that kid for wounding Alexis so badly that she couldn't even go to school, but then he remembered that Alexis wasn't the kind of person to miss softball just because of a fight. He was uneasy about how Alexis had been acting and wanted to help her, but he had no idea how.

Alexis was conflicted. Torn between two parts of herself that wanted her best friend to trust her enough to tell him everything, and the other so selfishly holding back in fear of change. She loved her friendship with Luke. More than she thought she could ever love the boy and she didn't want anything to change the friendship that they had, she wanted it to stay playful and trusting.

But she knew she had already betrayed his trust by not telling him.

Her thoughts drifted back to Casey - the one friend that knew of her condition. He knew everything about Alexis, even more than she knew about herself. She yearned so desperately to be able to consult in him about Luke, but even if he were speaking to her, she wouldn't be able to talk about Luke. Her life had become so complicated, she didn't understand how everything had gone downhill so fast.

Alexis just wanted her best friend back.

She grabbed her phone and pulled up her contacts, scrolling down to the "C's".

The phone rang for several seconds, making her nervous that there wouldn't be an answer, but when she heard an annoyed "What?" on the other end, she let out a deep sigh of relief.

"I need to ask a huge favor."

~~

im having major anxiety about getting surgery so im avoiding the problem until it gets here and writing my feelings bye

p.s. pls vote and comment i feel like im constantly talking to myself and as much as im writing this for myself and not anyone else i still would like to hear some opinions on my work other than from my best friend who is required to tell me its good ok pls and thank you bye

p.p.s. alSO if u live in northern usa or not in the great states and have never eaten @ chick fil a u are missing out my friend (idk how north they go i just know theres no cfa in michigan which is v aggravating so) go somewhere that has chick fil a and eat it that is all bye