fake smiles (depressed deku)

Please...

I sat next to mom in the cold dingy hospital room. Machines beeped as she slept. Every once and a while a nurse would walk in and check the machines. My arms ached as I looked at them. I brushed my fingers against my arms and winced.

"You doing ok?" A voice came from the door way.

"Oh, Todoroki... What are you doing here?" I quickly covered my arms.

"You haven't been to school in a few days so I was worried."

I covered my face as it turned red
"U-uhm... thanks...? Uh... sorry I look terrible." I brushed my hand through my hair. "I haven't really been doing much. Just keeping Mom company."

"Yea I figured." He said as his face turned a light pink.

The doctor walked in and checked the machines. He scribbled on his clip board.

"Alright Midoriya. We are gonna need you to head home soon. We need your  mother to have some good rest."

"Uh... Ok? But um-" he interrupted me. "No buts. She needs some time. We will send you weekly updates. Now get going."

"O-okay..." I stood up and hid the sadness in my expression with a half smile.

I walked out and Todoroki followed.

"Uh... Thanks for coming I guess..." I timidly said to him. "Yea. no problem." We stood in silence for a few seconds. "So I'll see you monday?" He asked.

"Uh. probably..."
"Oh right... I'm sorry. I'll text you." He said starting to walk away
"Yea... u-um. Bye."

I couldn't get over the fact that he came to find me. I was positive he hated me...

I walked home and tried to block out the thoughts that circled my mind. But I just couldn't.

What if she dies and I'm not there?

Each thought brought tears to my eyes no matter how hard I tried to hold them in.

What will dad say?

What do I care what that bastard says.

I dont want to go to school.

God everything was terrible. I just wanted to disappear. Why was I there? There was nothing to live for at this point. I just hated myself so much...

I finally reached my house. I really didn't want to go in. I knew it was just gonna be even more terrible. But I unlocked the door despite everything telling me not to.

I walked in and saw dad passed out of the couch. Empty beer cans littered the living room. The tv buzzed with whatever he was watching.

He's gonna make me clean this mess. If mom were here...

Tears welled up in my eyes. Thinking about her made me want to die. As more and more thoughts filled my head the tears began to trickle down my face.

I began to walk to the bathroom. The tears became larger and they came faster.

Please dont die mom. Please..

I closed myself in the bathroom. the drawer hung open and there were small drips of dried maroon blood on the floor.

I picked up the box cutter and drove the knife between scars. I put the knife in the drawer and waited for the cuts to scab.

When the cuts finished bleeding I pulled my hoodie sleeve over my arm and walked out of the bathroom.

Dad was awake and staring at the tv.
"Where have you been dip shit?" He growled

"nowhere."
"I find that hard to believe"
"Well its no business of yours."
"I'm your father. I deserve to know."
"Really? Your my father? I find that hard to believe."
"Well I am! So tell me where you were!!"
I wanted to scream. I felt my face turn red with anger.
"IF YOUR REALLY MY DAD THEN ACT LIKE IT!"
His face was full of rage. He stood up and stomped toward me and was interrupted by some one at the door.

"Telegram for the Midoriya family." The mail man boomed from outside
I walked to the door and opened it.

"From East View Hospital. Have a nice day" he handed me the paper and worry struck my face. That was mom's hospital. "Uh.. Thank you.." I said, closing the door. I walked into the living room staring at the paper.

Dad stared at me and stared to speak "Ok you listen here you littl-"
"Shut up." I interrupted him and opened the paper.

I read the message and my face filled with dread.

uwu Hello! Precious Readers! I have a confession... I said this next paet would be out soon but as you might know, I started school about 2 weeks ago so thats been getting in the way. Im gonna start trying to out atleast one part every week. Thank you for your patience! UwU

again another 3 years later edit. my god I was a cringey 8th grader. anyways- yes I see the weirdness in the timeline here, no I will not be changing it.