The New Click

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

HA! This chapter wasn't actually planned, I'm just kinda winging it and hoping you all enjoy it as a thank you for over 2k reads and over 80 votes! Also, the amazing support and hype you give the chapters and the book as a whole, so I thank you so much for that too! Now... the chapter...

Cray's POV ~
Is she really into Elliott? And is Elliott really into her?? Then, what about... I... I... I kissed her... I really liked her... and she... she- she just... what the fuck...
I could barely think as I let everything sit in. I've been looking at her photos with Elliott and the vlogs and just- just making myself go insane but, I can't help it! I really like (Y/n)... a fucking lot, god damn I would say love even... Thing is, Elliott and her is the problem... they, I don't know what they are or how they feel but from what I'm looking at, they look pretty fucking friendly, right?? I sigh and toss my phone off of me bed, letting it start to go off as I get up and put a shirt on, as well as slipping on some baggy pajama pants I found laying close by. I groan as I get off of my bed and look at my computer making sure that my equipment is still in working order for a stream tonight. I don't want anything breaking when I stream, that would make my Monday more of a mess than it already is.
I rubbed my eyes and I looked to my phone. Why don't I just talk to her? Wouldn't that make me feel better? Or would it just make me worse? Fuck it, I needed something, so I opened my door and headed down to her room. When I arrive at her door however, I thought of knocking, but I didn't hear any noise so I just opened the door. And that was my first mistake, because there they were, hugging each other. At this point, my gut was already debating on whether to just punch Elliott or just yell at him but, (Y/n) was there. Just her presence was stopping me from doing anything wrong to him, I didn't know why but it did. So, the only thing I could do was just walk away. "Oh... sorry," I said before looking at both of them one more time and heading back up to my room. I heard her say my name but I- I just couldn't handle that right now.
I slammed my door, making the frame rattle before huffing and looking for something anything to hit. I ended up just slamming my fist on my bed multiple times and yelling from time to time, I was sick of this, I was sick of her playing with my feeling just to know that she's into Elliott. After I got some of my anger out, I just stood there and panted, staring at the wrinkles and dips in my bed. That's when the door opened and she entered the room.
     How did I know it was her? Well, she said my name, yes, but she would feel bad and come after me, no? She would feel bad that even after I kissed her, and she still chose Elliott. I kept my head down, I didn't want to see her, because if I did, I knew I would do something that I would regret. No, I had to face this, I had to just get it over with. I looked at her and silence stood until she opened her mouth, "are you ok?" Her voice was, god, so soft that I almost broke, but I held my own. This wasn't my fault, it was hers and she needed to know how I felt, but how would I tell her? "Cray listen I-" she tried to speak again but I didn't want to hear excuses. "You what?" I snapped, making her have to regain her composure and continue. Seeing her do that, made me think that she was scared but why? Bloody hell, my heart was ripping into more and more pieces as she spoke. "I don't think it's what you think..." I wanted to talk back but my mouth wouldn't obey.
She then started to walk towards me, which I wanted but didn't want at the same time. I wanted to hug her, fuck, I wanted to hug her so badly but, I was angry at her and upset that I don't think physically I could do it. "Elliott and I-"
"Elliott likes you a lot," I spat out, making my heart rip once more just hearing her saying his name. Then it just all started coming out, "but... but he doesn't know how I felt!" I looked back towards my bed, desperately wanting to hit it but she was coming closer and closer that I didn't think I would have time for it. "Cray..." she said again but I didn't want to hear my name in her mouth, just this once, I don't want to hear it. "He was being selfish! He didn't want me to have a woman in my life because the single jokes about me gets the most laughs!" I wasn't wrong, there's so many comments about me being single that it's made Elliott just want to have more content about it and jokes about it that I've had to physically say no to. It was almost disgusting to see him like that. What broke me from my thoughts was her touching my hand and holding it in hers, "Nathan..." she said, firming her words, but my heart was done, it was on the verge of being bits and turning into a sad nothing in my chest. My mind acted and my emotions just came out all at once. I grabbed her wrist and told her straight, "but... this... this is your fault! I'm...I'm a mess because of you..." That was my second mistake. I still can't believe that I was surprised that she was struggling and telling me to let go. But what got me was when I caught her eyes, her (E/c) eyes that made me freeze. Not only her eyes but the fear and the desperation that filled them. That's when she caught my own eyes and her eyes pleaded once more. "Nathan please... let- let go..." she whispered making my mind yell at me to let go, that this isn't how you treat her if you really love her.
I slowly let go of her wrist and I him my head, I couldn't look at her. "I... I'm..." I desperately grabbed for words but none of them worked. I then looked at my hands, what did you do? You grabbed her and you- you hurt her... you fucking monster. That's when my emotions started up again and I slammed my bed once again causing (Y/n) to scream. Thing was, I don't think I was mad at her but more mad at myself because I still looked to her with concern and worry. I wanted to ask if she was ok, I wanted to say I'm sorry and I - I won't let it happen again, I wanted to say anything. I wanted to make her smile, I wanted her to just laugh one more time. But no, my dumbass had to ruin us because I was just... jealous. However, I could only look away from her and hold back the tears threatening to spill. "I... so sorry... I... you should... you should leave," I managed to say as I bunch up my hands.
The only thing she did was nod, and walked quite quickly out of my room. And once that door shut I broke. Tears started spilling and I just began to go numb. My emotions were going nuts and I didn't even want to realize what I did. I- I could've... I should've... but I didn't. I didn't comfort her, I didn't make her feel any better. She came in my room and after me because she cared but I just yelled at her and shooed her away. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I wiped my face and fell onto my bed while a knock erupted from the door. I didn't feel like having anyone here right now but I didn't have the strength to say go away. They ended up coming in and sitting on the bed next to me. It was silent between the two of us until they sighed, "welp, I'm guessing that didn't go that well..." they said. It was a familiar voice, in fact I knew exactly who it was. "No... no it didn't..." I responded, calming my heart down a bit. It went back to silence before he spoke up again. "She only sees me as a friend, you know? That means you won my man, I applaud." He said followed by him clapping his hands. Even though I upset at him, in the end, he's one of my best mates. And he wasn't wrong if she actually sees him only as a friend, I won, I won her heart.
     However, my mind brought me back to what happened just ten minutes ago. I yelled at her and put hands on her when I shouldn't have. Fuck... I know my mom raised me differently than that. She would be disappointed in me if she knew. Damn... what've I done?
     I didn't know what to do, I had to answer him though right? I then thought up a question, "Hey, um... what happened? In         (Y/n)'s room?" He didn't say anything for a minute then he spoke. "I went to her room to ask her about... Well, who she liked more and she said you which yeah made me a little upset," Elliott then took in a breath, exhaling slowly. I couldn't blame him, I would be upset too if she... oh shit, I was... "Anyways, she then offered a hug and I took it and that's when you walked in. However, after you left I offered to go and talk to you but she refused and before I could anything else she had already gone after you."
     As he finished the story, I couldn't help but feel good but guilty at the same time. Good because she cared about me and went after me but guilty because I accused her AND Elliott of going against me. I sighed and shook my head, "I'm sorry, Elliott, god I'm just a fool..." Elliott surprisingly chuckles at me. "I'm not the person you should be apologizing to but I'll accept it," I could only smile at his remark, "I know I know, ya bastard," Elliott laughed once more, "there he is!" We shared a laugh before I sighed, "it's just, gonna be awkward no?" I said and he shrugged, "probably, then, just give her some time. We don't exactly know what's she's been through specifically or how that made her feel."

     There it is!!! Sorry this took me a while but I just wanted to do something special for hitting the 1 and 2K reads.

I'm also very sorry about the long wait, September was my birthday month along with a bunch of other birthdays and personal things, but I appreciate the wait!!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS :DDDDDDD

And any mistakes I made feel free to comment about it!

stay cray
(You think I wouldn't say it? Huh?)

(Words ~ 1924)