The New Click

I Promise.

     I woke up in a haze. Life didn't feel real anymore, I didn't feel real. I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the plain ceiling. The room was still dark other than the small amount of light poking through the blinds. I felt... sore? I cringed trying to pry myself off of my bed to stand and walk towards the bathroom. I flicked the light on, taking a minute for my eyes to adjust, before I peered in the mirror and confirmed how bad I felt with my looks. God, I looked terrible. I yawned once before remembering my... dream? Nightmare? Nightmare. I glanced at my forearms. Nightmare, or reality?

     I slowly raised my sleeves and saw the many scars that looked to bleed in the haze I had. My eyes grew wide and I immediately rolled the sleeves back down. That... That was real. I actually... I was gonna be sick... I gripped the sink in front of me as my head felt fuzzy. I could barely stand, I could barely breathe. I was the girl... I did... I couldn't believe it. I shook my head staring guiltily at myself. Why? What did that achieve? It didn't make anything better... It might've just made things worse... Why didn't I just learn the first time?

     I pulled myself out of my mind with a sigh before I brushed my teeth and debated what to do with my time. I should shower, get ready, and go eat something, but that felt too hard. I flopped down on my bed. Maybe changing into something would make me feel better? Maybe... But I didn't move an inch, I just laid there until I started to get uncomfortable. With a sigh, I went for the bathroom and made myself take a shower. It wasn't fun, at all, but I feel slightly better knowing I don't look like I got trampled by several animals. 

     Once I got out of the bathroom, I noticed a small slip that appeared under my door. I looked at it and went to pick it up before another slip appeared. Footsteps were sounded moving away from the door as I picked up the two notes. One looked a bit sloppy, and the other looked really neat. Of course, I chose with the neater one to read first. 'Hey! I haven't seen you in a little bit! I hope you're doing alright! I heard your shower going so I just wanted to slip this through and see if you wanted to go out somewhere to do something! You can't be cooped up in there forever!! Send me a slip for whenever ❤' Signed Kath. Who sent this blessing my way? I actively smiled at the note, knowing that she actually was caring. I set the note aside for later and moved to the other slip. It took me a second to understand the writing, but once I did understand it, I couldn't help but feel my pulse jump. 'Hey (Y/N), I possibly wrote this note several times, but I wanted to talk to you. Like, face-to-face? If you're down for that? I know this really cool restaurant downtown we can go to, text me' Signed... Cray. 

  The last time Cray and I said anything to each other was the escape room, and that alone felt years ago. (Wink wonk, target to myself🙂 ) So, I could only imagine what he wants to talk to me about. That thought excited me and put me on edge at the same time. Excited me because what if it goes well and we make up, but then there's the opposite side to where it can go terribly and we never speak again. My mind swirls at the many possibilities as I gather myself to open my phone and send a text message to him, 'Hey, I saw your note and I think it will be fun. Do you wanna go around 8?' I wait a minute and smile at the smiley face he sent back, along with a sure. Excitement started to bubble up in my chest as I finally had something to look foreword too, which hasn't happen in a hot minute.

     Later on that evening, I start getting ready around 7, and slip into a skirt and a simple, long-sleeved shirt that drops off my shoulder. I grabbed some shoes I can semi-walk in, and peer into a mirror to check out what I looked like. I could barely believe the person I saw last night and the person I see right now are the same person. It was... an interesting moment. I cast my gaze over to my arms, but shake off the feeling. You're going to have a good night and have fun. I repeated that sentence over and over again until I started to actually believe it. However, it was now turning to 7:50 and I was to be downstairs 5 minutes ago. I took a breath and walked out my door to the main lobby.