The New Click

Her Memories...

     A/N ~ Quick note I wanted to point out that whatever is in italics is going to be your memory/ memories while the normal text is present day. It'll make more sense in a second, trust me. ALSO

DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!
This chapter is written around the idea of abuse, so if you ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS TOPIC PLEASE DO NOT READ. Thank you

Now onto the chapter:

     I sighed at my black screen of my computer. Now what? Do I go and talk to him? Tell him I'm sorry? But it wasn't my fault... was it? Question upon question filled my head until my head pounded, letting me know to stop. But how could I... the boy I had grown to fall for was acting like the boy that I never wanted to see again. Like my ex... the man that was nice in the beginning, but terrible in the end. The relationship that never ended until I finally broke away... finally...
     I held my head, fighting the massive headache that was clawing at me as I got up to go and grab some medicine from my suitcase. I then went downstairs to grab a quick glass of water for the pills. As I did so, I couldn't help but let my mind wonder about pretty much everything at this point. At least the past three previous days. I still couldn't believe it was still Tuesday, that it scared me about what else would happen this week. One could only know... Anyways I chucked the pills into my mouth and washed then down with some water. It took me a hot second to get them fully down, but hey, at least I wasn't choking on them. (Ahaha 😅) I then just stopped and sighed, thinking again.

I sat home alone. Here, let me rephrase that, I sit here in his house alone like it's always been for the past year since I moved in. I wouldn't say it's been torture, but it's been worse than that... hell? Maybe... As bad as it sounds, I was happy being here alone. I wasn't forced to do things nor was I being ignored for half the night. Sure I couldn't go outside but it's not like I could even if he was around. You might be thinking that I should speak up and say something if I wasn't happy, trust me I've tried, and it only ended with either me getting beat or yelled at or ignored. In short, there wasn't much that I could without getting punished or my head messing with me.
I turn on the tv and go to a Netflix show that I've been watching when he's not home. It's actually a really fun show, however I was getting close towards to finishing the season and that crushed me. It was one of the things that really made me happy. Oh well, I should try and look for another show I guess. I grab my phone and look up 'good Netflix shows' then start scrolling through. However, what I didn't expect was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" I asked towards the door, "It's Noah, open up." I froze, I knew Noah's voice by heart, and that wasn't it.
They knocked once more, but I didn't answer, instead I slowly got up from the couch and walked steadily and quietly to the door. I softly placed my hands on the door and peaked through the hole. Sure enough, it wasn't Noah. This guy was a little slimmer and some inches shorter, he was also wearing a red beanie, some ripped black jeans, and a paired blank t-shirt. I stepped back, I wasn't supposed to open up the door unless it was Noah, however, something told me I should. So I said fuck it and opened the door just a small bit. Turns out he smiled a little when he saw my head poke out. "You're not Noah, who are you exactly?" I asked him, "I'm a friend of Noah's actually, I stopped to say hi to you since he was complaining that he was staying late at work for something." I crooked my head and looked over at my phone, it hasn't gone off in an hour... did he not text me about it?
Noah's friend looked at my phone as well, "so I'm guessing you didn't get anything...?" He said and I nodded. "He hasn't texted me at all today..." I looked back at the friend and opened the door wider gesturing him to come in since it would've been rude not to. He paused for a moment and then walked in, admiring the cute decor around the house. "It's... quite comfy" he said and I nodded, "very." I then returned to my spot as the man stood looking towards the tv, "oh (Favorite TV Show (FTV))? I love that show," he said smiling, which made me perk up. "Really? Wow, I thought nobody watched it anymore..." he shook his head, "are you crazy? I got so sad that I had finished the season, I just watched it all over again!" We then started to bond and I'm not gonna lie, it felt REALLY GOOD.
It had to be at least 2 hours that we spent talking and messing around before he finally noticed that he never introduced himself. "Hey, I never said what my name was..." he laughed, I then covered my mouth in realization as well, "oh jeez... I'm sorry, I should've-"
"No you're all good, it's my fault, I should've said something-"
"No, it was rude of me to-"
"You're fine. I promise you, it's my fault," and as I opened my mouth to say something else he grabbed my arm. Out of plain reflexes I yanked my arm back and yelped, "Stay-" my mouth soon stopped working as my brain finally understood the situation. My face immediately flushed as his eyes grew quite concerned, "I- I'm sorry I-" I shook my head, silencing him, "no, I... it's ok..." I quickly said sighing and sitting on the couch.
It took him a moment before he sat next to me, "Hey, are you ok? I mean, it's not really my business to budge but you reacted really... abnormally..." he said in which I didn't answer to. I mean how could I? I didn't even know if I was ok myself. "What time is it..?" I asked, changing the subject subtly, causing him to pause and then check his phone. "7:30" he read and I nodded, "Noah would've been home by now, well on a regular day huh?" I sighed. He only nodded slightly and laid back on the couch, "I guess, I mean we normally get off of work at like 7," he said doing some math in his head. "But, I don't think it takes 30 minutes to get here, I mean it only took me about 10..." I then shrugged, "maybe traffic..?" He shrugged, "I don't think it would take an extra 20 minutes though," I then did the math myself.
If it only takes him 10 minutes to get here from work and he gets out at 7, then he's maybe not coming home immediately after work... But, if there was traffic, it would take him an extra 10 minutes making it 20 minutes. But he always comes home at 7:30 at least...
The guy only looked at me as I tried to do the math, looking slightly sad. But even when I finished, I still couldn't understand why it takes him so long when it really shouldn't, every night. I looked at the guy slowly, "he's just got a lot of car problems or a lot of erran-... well..." I said, attempting to make something up for me. The guy only sighed lightly and then shrugged, "I guess." It was silence after that. Nobody spoke, well actually, nobody attempted to speak, knowing that I at least didn't wanna talk. I mean, my little head wanted to make excuses for him, but my head also wanted to face reality and say that he's doing something after work, who knows what.
After the guy left I still stood at the door and waited, waited for Noah to come. Not only did I want to see him, I wanted to get answers. I wasn't gonna shy away from reality, I'm gonna stand up for myself, do something because somethings not right. Honestly, nothing is ever right with him... because I stood there for 20 minutes and nothing. No knock or yell or text, it was like he was a ghost, non-existing. That's when I sighed, shook my head, and cried. Cried because this isn't normal. Cried because I was tired. Not only because of him but tired of being left in the dark about so many things that I should have known so long ago. I let this man take my heart and all he has done with it was make it hurt and long for something that my mind knows will never happen.
I just cried and cried and cried as things only got quieter and quieter and quieter. I couldn't tell you how heartbreaking it was, just standing there, waiting. It was 30 minutes now and I felt weak. 30 minutes of crying and I already felt dead. I mean my mind was a mess, what if I gave up? What if I gave in? How would it feel? What would I feel? Would I even feel though? All of these questions and no one to answer them drove me insane.
Another 10 minutes, an hour after Noah's friend left, I finally gave up and headed to bed. I might get something in the morning, probably not, but it's good to have hope right? Let's hope...

From that day on, things only got worse. He wouldn't come home sometimes, and even if he did, whenever I tried to talk to him he would either ignore me and yell at me. Or hit me if I pushed him too far. He would grab my arm and yell at me, smack me, dig his nails into my wrist. It destroyed all the hope and courage that I would build up for myself, it made me doubt everything. I couldn't tell you how happy I was when I escaped, oh it was beyond words describable, but it also ruined me. I didn't know what to do, but that's another story for another day...
A knock erupted from my door, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Who is it?" I said, my voice horsed from not speaking for a while. I mean, I've been cooped up in my room for most of the day, refusing to come out, out of my safe place. Imagine...

HOWDY! I know it's been a while since I posted, but believe me when I say I'm working on it!! I just need to get into a good routine that makes it easier for me to write.
Also, I know this is a heavy chapter and I've taken my time editing this and making it so nobody it hurt or offended in anyway. Personally, I wanted to write about abuse because it's never talked about anymore. Nobody talks about it and people should. Relationships like this one is nothing that should happen to ANYBODY. Everyone should feel safe and loved til their hearts content so, if you want to talk about anything I will never shy away from anything from you guys. Because you all deserve nothing but the best.

I love you all

stay cray :)))))))))

(AND USE CODE CRAY IN THE ITEM SHOPPEEEEEEEEEEE)
( Words ~ 1948 )