Different Types of Love || BNHA Oneshots

ᴇɪᴊɪʀᴏ ᴋɪʀɪsʜɪᴍᴀ [1]

   Eijiro Kirshima X FtM! Reader

 Warnings: Dysphoria Warning, 

   Key: [FtM] = Female to Male, 

 Canon/Non Canon: Canon

   AU: None

 Relationship: Romantic

    Inspo: None

 Requested From: No One [My Own Idea]

   Note: Before we begin, people who are trans please read cautiously. I would hate to cause anyone misery, so tread lightly. I just want to say that you're all so valid. I decided to write this because I am FtM myself, and I know it's a hard journey to face. Kirishima thinks all of you are so manly! I hope this comforts any of you in some way. Also, every trans person has a different experience, so don't feel bad if yours doesn't sound like the one I described. I would also like to continue my appreciation of all the support <3

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   Things haven't been the same lately. I've been feeling strange, like I don't even know myself anymore and it's really starting to feel awful. At first I thought I was just really self conscious, which wasn't really here or there but it still didn't feel like that was the problem. My school uniform felt so uncomfortable in a body that didn't even seem like my own.

   I've been trying to lessen this feeling by wearing more baggy clothes, and even if people told me I was "beautiful" or anything else the compliment just made me feel worse somehow. I wanted to hide this, even if people told me I shouldn't. It wasn't me. I've been feeling so out of place lately. I wasn't a super girly person, and yes I did enjoy some quote on quote "feminine" things, but I never enjoyed doing makeup or dressing up or any of that. I felt bad that I couldn't indulge in the girl things with my friends like YaoMomo and Jirou.

   I just got told I was a tomboy by my parents, and some people really like that about me. I thought the same thing too, at first. I couldn't think that was just the case anymore. I really couldn't stand it anymore. I hated the dresses, the skirts, the "compliments", people calling me a girl and such. I had to find out what was going on, so I turned to the internet.

   It was nighttime, and I was in my dorm room researching all of this on my laptop. It wasn't that late, and I was going to go to bed soon (even if I dreaded the schooldays) so this wouldn't hurt my schedule. I typed in the questions I had into the search bar, entering them and waiting with anticipation.

   When the results showed up, my nerves still didn't calm at all. The results showing up were talking about a possibility I didn't even consider. "Trans?" I never thought of it that way. I was petrified with fear. I didn't know what to think. I was accepting of the fact and I'm sure at least most of the people I know would be cool with it, but still. The slight chance that I might not be accepted by someone close to me was an awful thought.

   The realization about everything hit harder the second time I thought about. My shoulders began to shake as tears rolled down my eyes. What would everyone think? I know I shouldn't care, but it's difficult to brush something like this aside so easily. What would the school think? My family. Oh my God... What would Eijirou think? He was the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had, and I care about him so much. One of the things I fear most is him ever disliking me, so what would happen if I told him I wasn't his girlfriend anymore because I'm not a girl...?

   He was the ray of hope that made all my sadness and worries go away. Whenever I was dreading going anywhere he'd make it all better. He was such a sweetheart to me, and it'd about almost kill me losing him. Getting over him would probably be one of the hardest things I might have to do. I mean, him not talking to me is only the worst case, right? I really hope we can at least stay friends.