Carnival✔

23

(I know theres trigger warnings in description of this story but fair warning for this chapter specifically)

One morning when Tyler was thirteen he woke up with a weird feeling in his lower region.  He whined and cupped himself with his hands. It felt weird and he was confused, this hasn't happened before. He rolled onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows, lifting up the waistband of his pajama pants to see what was going on down there.

His eyes widened when he seen and he started panicking. Hyperventilating and tears springing to his eyes almost immediately. "Mom!! Mommy!!" He screamed, sobs racking through his chest, he was so scared. "Mommy! Mo-m!" He sobbed.

Both his moms came running into the room quickly and running over to him. "What? What's wrong? What happened?" Sam asked. "I'm turning into daddy." Tyler cried. "Wh-what?" Sam asked confusedly. "I-its doing what daddys used to before he hurt me with it." Tyler sobbed gasping for air as sam made him sit up.

Sam looked at Jackie before looking back to Tyler. "What is? What are you talking about?" She asked. Tyler glanced down at his crotch before looking back up at her with scared eyes. Sam dropped her gaze before raising her eyebrows. "Oh." She said looking at Jackie again.

"I'm turning into daddy I dont wanna be like daddy I dont wanna." He cried. "Hey Hey Tyler listen to me. That's normal. It happens to boys around your age when they start going through puberty." Jackie said. "I dont wanna be a boy then!" Tyler sobbed.

"Tyler hunny you need to breathe." Jackie said softly. Tyler took a shaky breath. "I dont wanna be like daddy I cant- I dont-i-i-no." Tyler cried. "You're not gonna be like him okay? This doesnt mean that you're like him. This is normal okay? It's going to happen you cant stop it." Sam said.

"nO!" Tyler yelled his voice cracking. "I dont want it!" He continued.  "Hey dont yell. Itll go away okay? Stop crying you're okay." Sam said cupping Tyler's cheek with her hand and wiping away some tears. Tyler whined. "Make it go away now." He said. "I cant." Sam said.

Tyler whined more aggressively, sniffling and taking another shaky breath. He couldnt handle having it. It made him have flashbacks. It made him feel like he was gonna hurt someone like his father had hurt him and he didnt want that. He didnt want to hurt anyone. Sam sighed and sat down on the bed next to him, hugging him tightly and trying to calm him down.

This continued to happen at least once a week but sometimes more. Tyler hated it, screaming and crying about how he doesnt want to be a boy anymore because he doesnt want to deal with it. He cant deal with it, he freaks out everytime it happens and each time it gets worse.

He was face timing Josh at the moment talking about a new video game that was coming out next week. Josh had gotten warm and took off his shirt though. Tyler had blushed before he realized that it happened again then his face went pale as he looked down at his crotch.

"You okay?" Josh asked. "I gotta go." Tyler squeaked out, hanging up and tossing his phone his moms recently got him off to the side as he started hyperventilating. He gripped his hair harshly, pulling on it and whining. He hated this so much. He couldnt handle it.

It's happened so many times already and he just couldnt do it anymore. He didnt want it, he didnt want anything to do with it. He didnt want the memories that haunted him everytime or the fear that took over his chest and lungs at the thought that he was like he father. He didnt want the pain that came along after it's been there for a while.

And most of all he hated that the slightest amount of pressure felt good. He didnt want it to feel good. It was such an awful thing to him that the thought of it feeling good made him angry. It wasnt supposed to feel good, he didnt want it to. He didnt want to have it.

After sitting on his bed crying and gasping for air while trying to refrain from pulling his hair out he snapped, screaming angrily and tugging on his hair more before abruptly pushing himself up off his bed and running over to his bedroom door.

He threw it open, it banging against the wall as he ran down the hall and towards the kitchen. He ran past sam and Jackie who were watching TV in the living room, catching their attention and making them follow instantly. He ran over to the counter, reaching across it and pulling a knife out of the knife block before dropping his pants and underwear. Gripping himself and moving the knife down there.

It was a good thing his moms had followed. They quickly ran over when they seen what he was about to do and grabbed him, prying the knife out of his grip. "NO!!" He screeched, struggling against Jackie's grip as Sam set the knife on the counter.

"Shhh Shhh shhhh" jackie soothed, as he cried, trying to get out of her hold as he reached for the knife. He turned in her grip and pushed away, falling to the floor with a soft thud before scrambling to get his feet underneath him and try to get the knife again. This time sam grabbed him and she was alot stronger then Jackie, she fell back on the floor with him and held him tightly, keeping his arms pinned down by his sides.

"No." He sobbed. "Shh shhh breathe Tyler breathe you're okay calm down." She instructed as Jackie crawled over to them and rubbed Tyler's back. Tyler cried loudly, in his moms hold. He cried and cried until he passed out. His pants were pulled back up and he was carried over to the couch and set in Jackie's lap as sam grabbed her phone.