ang ingay. sobrang ingay sa paligid ko because they are all busy preparing for today's event. for my event. for my wedding. pero there's this sound inside me, screaming and telling me to go. telling me to run to jungmo wherever he is right now. i want to. pero natatakot ako. hindi ako makagalaw. hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin. i want to cry. but my eyes can't cry. i can't cry.
"ms. bae, your gown is ready—" i stood up. because for the VERY last time, i want to see him again. i want to check him. i want to know if he's okay. i want to know what happend. i want to run. i want to go.
but someone held my hand. i looked at her and it was my mom. already wearing her clothes for today's ceremony. obviously, she's excited. and there, I hesitate to go. i can't disappoint her. i can't disappoint them.
"what's wrong, honey?" napaupo ako. tuluyan ng sumuko. i can't do anything.
"nothing, mom. i just wanted to tell them na ayoko ng isuot yung gown. simpleng dress nalang yung isusuot ko," mom smiled. kumilos naman agad yung mga nag aayos sakin para kuhanin yung damit na tinutukoy ko.
"and i came here because i wanted to tell you that finally, you became the women you've been dreaming about. you're so brave, anak. you fought until this moment and im so proud of you. thank you for making mommy and daddy, proud. you will always be my baby girl." at dun, ang mga luhang kanina pa gustong bumagsak at tumulo mula sa mga mata ko ay tuluyan ng lumabas.
"i love you, honey. i'm sorry and i hope from this day forward, only happiness will come to you and to your husband." she gave me kiss on my forehead bago niya kuhanin yung kamay ko para lagyan 'yon ng singsing.
"this ring was from your dad. he gave this to me as his gift for our 1st anniversary. i kept it. and wanted to give this to your unnie since she's our first child but realized that you need it more so please keep this okay?" tumango ako, i can't talk. i can't stop crying.
"stop crying na okay? you should put your clothes on because the ceremony will start sooner." inipit niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok na humaharang sa mukha ko bago niya ako hawakan sa mukha.
"you will be happy." mom smiled again bago ako iwanan sa mga stylist na nag aayos sakin.
"let's go, ms. bae?" napayuko ako. i tightly held my phone.
"i'm sorry, jungmo."
—
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
holding this bouquet of flowers that jinyoung gave to me, i started walking down the aisle. i can clearly hear their cheer. but i can only hear my soul, still screaming. more loudly than before. that i should go. i should fight. again. i should run.
Beautiful in white by: Westlife
Not sure if you know this But when we first met I got so nervous I couldn't speak
the lyrics made me remember him again and our very first encounter. like ang solid, diba? we just met there unexpectedly. and suddenly, i introduced him as my boyfriens to sihun which is my ex.
instant boyfriend.
In that very moment I found the one and My life had found its missing piece
and who would thought that he will be the love of my life? the man of my life? the almost man of my life.
So as long as I live I love you Will have and hold you You look so beautiful in white
habang nag lalakad ako at inaalala lahat, hindi ko na namalayang umiiyak na pala ako.
im sorry. i can't help it because it hurts. really.
i looked around. people around me looks so touched as if im crying dahil masaya ako. ha, y'all thought.
gagi, masakit din pala mag lakad sa aisle ng pangarap kong kasal. i thought i will be happy. i thought.
And from now 'til my very last breath This day I'll cherish You look so beautiful in white Tonight
And if a daughter is what our future holds I hope she has your eyes Finds love like you and I did Yeah, and if she falls in love, we'll let her go I'll walk her down the aisle She'll look so beautiful in white
tanginang future yan. siya lang naman gusto kong makasama dun, bawal ba? puta.
So as long as I live I love you Will have and hold you You look so beautiful in white And from now 'til my very last breath This day I'll cherish You look so beautiful in white Tonight
the moment i reached the front aisle, tumigil din ang back ground music. tahimik ang lahat. i can't even enjoy the view dahil wala naman dun ang mga mata ko. nasa buhangin. nakayuko ako. nakakabastos man sa lalakeng nasa tabi ko, wala akong pake—
pero wait, lalakeng katabi ko?
this man who's standing beside me suddenly held my chin. he made me looked straightly into his eyes. i almost fell into it.
there, my world suddenly stopped.
again, it's him.
why?
××
hi, mga mahal!! im so so so sorry for this late update!! u know kasi, my college life finally started & sobrang busy na but since i missed jungmo and need ko ng matapos tong book na 'to, alam ko rin namang kating kati na kayong malaman ang ending, eto na nga!!
HAPPY 8K READS!!! aaaaaaaaa!!! sobrang love ko kayo sobrang salamat sa pag support sa kalandian ko for jungmo and aminado naman siguro kayong ganon din kayo hehehehehehe
malapit na malapit na malapit na tayo sa ending mga ka-moguu!! thank u 🦋💙
ps: please pray for yohan's fast recovery thank you :((
