Just To See You

Chapter 6: Why?!

Last time:

I didn't get to finish because at that moment something happened.

Logan.. To be Continued

Now:

He kissed me. He grabbed my face in his hand and kissed me. When his lips left mine and he looked at me, there were stars in my eyes and I knew he saw them.
"Can you please listen to me?" He said lightly. I nodded a little and looked at the ground. He sighed and shook his head.

"I didn't mean to hurt you..I didn't mean for any of this to happen. It happened all on accident..one of the guys from the football team found out about what Jeremy said about you being gay and he did it..I tried to stop him, but I didn't want them to think I was gay too. I'm so sorry Evan I wish none of this happened to you honestly. Your an amazing person and you don't deserve any of this." Logan said. I looked at him confused. I grabbed my bag and started to walk off. "Wait come back." Logan said, he sounded sad when he said it. I turned around. "What?" I said sighing a little and looking down.

It was quiet for a second. At least 6 seconds. He walked off the bleachers and up to me. Before he could utter anything I spoke. "Are you gay Logan?" I said. He took awhile to get the words together then finally spoke. "Yes, I'm gay. But nobody on the team knows so please don't mention it." He said. I wouldn't have done it anyways though. It was personal.

I was still upset about the whole school finding out but now I didn't have to hide it anymore.

When I got back into school Audrey and Riley has been waiting for me. "We've been looking all over for you! Are you alright?!" Audrey said while her and Riley hugged me tightly. "Yea I'm fine." I replied smiling a little bit. "Is it true Evan?" Riley said. I couldn't hide it anymore, so why not. "Yes, I'm gay." I said proudly. They both hugged me again but even tighter.

The rest of the day went normal. I was happy. Until I got to Gym class. All the guys on the Football team had it with me. They all kept cat calling, saying things like: "HEY GAY BOY!! or HEY FAGGY!" I didn't know how to react. I ran to the locker room off the field because I couldn't take it. But that made things worse.

After being in there for 5 minutes some of the guys from the football team came in and started calling out my name, I was hiding in a stall of course. But sadly 1 of them found me and they all dragged me from under.

They pushed me up against the lockers, which made my head start to bleed. "You think we want some faggot messing with our teammate Logan?! Stay away from him you pedophile," one of the football players yelled in my face. He picked me up by my shirt, took me into one of the bathrooms and shoved my head close to the toilet. I started yelling, and kicking, and everything, but nobody came to help me. Tears flooded my eyes and then, dunk. They put my head in the toilet.

I didn't know how to feel, but it was mostly like shit. I didn't know being gay was such a bad thing until this day.

After making fun of me some more and cornering me and yelling and screaming I finally got up and left. I went home because I knew neither of my parents were there and my older brothers were at their apartments.

I locked myself in my room and cried the entire night.

Later I found a razor blade and started to cut at my wrists. I watched them as the red blood started to drip over my bathroom sink, and down the drain, my pail skin couldn't hide the cuts, they were a bright red, and you could probably see them 3 feet away.

I wrote a note to my mom and dad first, explaining that if I ended my life because of what happened it wasn't their fault, then I wrote letters to my brothers and best friends. I finally finished at 9:47pm. I sat and looked at the notes in the envelopes I put them in. I didn't know what I was going to do..but this was probably going to be my last night alive.

Right as I was about to get ready for my final goodbye, a tiny rock hit my window, and then about 3 more. I went over to mu window to see Logan.