Spotlight on Nobody

- 7 -

~ song: Simple Love by Lindsey Lomis ~

The door to my bedroom creaks softly open and I groan. Just five more minutes. My bed feels like heaven right now.

"Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," Ella says in a whisper.

"Yes, you did," I reply moodily. I'm the lightest sleeper ever - there's no way she could have come in and not woken me up. "Come in," I say as she's already ten steps inside.

Ella sets down a cup of tea on my bedside table and blops down on my bed next to me.

"So..." She trails off, looking at me pointedly.

"So, what?" I ask innocently. She jabs me in the side, and I feel a smile start to creep onto my face. I quickly cover it with a pillow, so as not to give myself away.

"Nell Jae Greene!" Ella shrieks, bouncing up into a standing position on my bed, smacking me with a pillow.

"Ow! Okay, okay, OKAY!!!" I yell through fits of laughter.

"Tell me everything," she says in a gasp.

"Nothing happened Ella. We went to Wawa, got hoagies, talked and he left."

"Are you sure that's it?" She says with a smirk and a wink.

"If you're not-so-subtly trying to suggest we kissed than I am sorry to disappoint but that's not what happened." The disappoint was visible on her face. "He's more than just a cute face and a pretty voice," I cringe at how that sounded, and I see her begin to smile. "I don't know Ella, as famous as he is, he just seemed really lonely. He has enough girls trying to sleep with him, but none trying to be his friend."

"You're saying you friend-zoned yourself?" Ella asks incredulously. I nod, knowing how embarrassing that sounds.

She surprises me by leaning over and hugging me tightly. "You're a good person Nell." She looks at me sadly and walks out of the room.

"Ella?" I say before she walks out. "What's wrong?"

"The way Leo looked at you last night on stage – " she shakes her head. "I don't know, I thought I saw something. Like he may have been different than everyone else, finally see what I see." She closes the door softly and I'm left there staring at my wall.

I know what she's talking about, because I felt it too, just for a moment. When I looked at Leo while he sang Blackbird, I felt something in me shift. A feeling in my gut, like I just made room for something else. But I dismissed the idea as another one of my fantastical daydreams.

I make friends with everyone without really trying. I just like people. I like talking to them, learning their story, seeing their perspective and telling them mine. It's not like I open up to everyone, become their best friend or anything – I just like making people feel like someone out there sees them and cares enough to smile at them on the street or ask how their day was. But even though I'm friends with everyone, that's all I am. Everyone knows me, and most people like me, but never like like. I can't seem to pinpoint what it is that keeps guys from becoming romantically interested in me, but I've just given up on trying. Trust me, I still think about it every time I pass a cute boy on the street, every time I watch a romance movie or see a couple holding hands next to me at a restaurant. But it gets exhausting looking for someone to love you. So I stopped looking, and started accepting that for whatever reason, it's just not in my cards right now.

I push myself out of bed. My clock reads 9:00 AM, early for a Sunday. I cradle the cup of steaming hot tea and bring it with me to the bathroom, where I turn on the shower and let it steam up the room before I step lazily in. I replay last night in my head as I lather up. It feels like a dream, the memory fuzzy on the edges, like even my brain doesn't believe it was real. My mind begins to wander, thinking of Leo. The way he looked at me during his last song, the way our hands fit together, the way he tried to make me laugh and was interested in everything I had to say. The way he said I was his type, with a twinkle in his eye. But then I remember his short, almost disgusted response to Logan asking if I was going back to his room, that he didn't even try to kiss me, that we firmly established we are just friends. As I rinse off, all my daydreams about Leo Griffiths slip down the drain.