Spotlight on Nobody

- 34 -

~ song: affection by BETWEEN FRIENDS ~

It's been two weeks since I've seen Leo, but that's okay. Because he loves me. He's in love with me. I try to suppress a grin as my mind repeats those words over and over again. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

"I have never seen you smile," pants Ella, "on a run," she puffs. "Ever."

"Just thinking about life," I say rather breathlessly.

Ella and I are doing our weekly run along the river, and I am at a severe disadvantage. For one, this is the only time I run all week, whereas Ella makes a point of running at least 5 miles every day. Add to that my slight hangover from getting drunk with Grace last night – Ella smartly abstained – and understandably, I'm fitting the urge to hurl into the river.

"You mean thinking about Leoooooo," Ella says in a sing-song voice.

"No, I'm thinking about youuuuu," I try to taunt back, but my voice comes out as barely a whisper. "Okay break, break," I say, bending over with my hands on my knees.

"You did good kid," Ella says like a middle school soccer coach, patting me affectionately on the back. "Made it two whole miles without stopping!"

"Can we....get....popsicles...now?" I huff.

Ella chuckles as she passes me her water bottle. "Sure, you deserve it. Your treat though."

I stick out my tongue at her, but she simply links arms with me and drags me off the trail into Center City.

I love Philadelphia. The city's inhabitants are known for being rude with an extra-large side of attitude, but I think Philadelphians are authentic. We're the underdogs, used to being at the bottom, used to the nasty glares and rumors, but we keep our chins high and don't give up hope. I love the city too, how the blue-glass skyscrapers burst from the sidewalks, springing up like weeds between historic landmarks, the old and the new mixing in perfect harmony.

I hand the cashier of the small popsicle shop a few crumpled, sweaty bills I pulled from the pocket of my gym shorts, and Ella and I find a bench in Rittenhouse Park to lick our ice-cold desserts. She happily laps up a lemony popsicle, while I enjoy a chai-flavored creation. The smell of summer travels on a wind that rustles the flowers on the cherry blossom trees, taunting us with a balmy breeze, assuring us summer is on its way.

"How many finals do you have next week?" Ella asks through a mouthful of melted ice.

"Ughhhh," I groan, dropping my head back. "I don't want to think about finals."

"Nell, you could literally not study, drop acid, hit every strip club in the city, and stay up all night, and still ace all your finals," Ella states matter-of-factly. "And I hate you for it," she adds.

"Je ne sais pas," I respond. "I am so screwed for French."

"Why don't you study with Parker? He's practically fluent..." Ella falters under my pointed stare, then sighs. "Listen, he's a jerk okay? And he knows it. You just have to give him the chance to apologize, to make amends."

I stare at the popsicle, now melting, streams of sticky liquid dripping onto my hand. It's not that I have yet to forgive Parker. I forgave him a while ago. I'm not one to hold grudges, especially against my best friends. Besides, I know what it's like to like someone who doesn't like me back; that was practically the story of my life before I met Leo.

"He doesn't have to apologize, I forgive him."

"Then what is stopping you from getting the band back together? No Parker means no Ross, and our girl-guy friend ratio is getting slaughtered! We need them!" Ella exclaims in exasperation.

"Wow, you're really laying it on thick." I sigh. "I don't know Ella, feel bad. I'm so happy with Leo and hanging out with Parker would just feel like I'm flaunting it in front of him. He really drew the short stick, ya know? I ended up with Mr. Teen Sensation, and Parker has to watch the girl he likes draped over the hottest guy in the world literally on TV."

"I'll admit, I bet it does suck for Parker," Ella nods. "But do you know what sucks even more? Losing his best friend because he acted like a dick. The guilt must be eating him alive Nell."

"Fine, fine, you're right," I relent. "I'll talk to him today, okay?"

Ella springs up off the bench. "The band is back together baby!!!" She shrieks so loud the birds perched in the branches above us take flight.

I laugh, amused by the fact that she never seems to care that there is a very real, very judgmental world around her. Ella just does Ella, and I love her for that.

"Uh, excuse me?" A shy voice says from behind me, and I turn around, hand still full of sticky melted popsicle, my chin undoubtably smeared with the same.

"Are you Nell Greene?" A petite girl, no older than 13, asks me sweetly, her hands locked behind her back as she rocks on the tips of her toes.

"That's me," I say simply, with a reassuring smile.

"You're dating Leo Griffiths," she states, her eyes wide.

"Crazy, right?" Ella interjects.

The girl simply shakes her head no. "You're so pretty, no wonder he loves you."

I laugh, blushing at the young girl's compliment. "What's your name?"

"Adrienne," the girl responds. It seems she can only say short sentences in my presence, almost like she's starstruck, which is ridiculous, seeing as though I'm just Nell.

"Nice to meet you Adrienne," I respond, shaking her hand with my non-sticky one. "I love your hair," I say, pointing to her bantu knots, making her blush.

"How about I take a picture of you two?" Ella suggests, and Adrienne nods vigorously, handing over her phone. I crouch down so we're at the same level and smile for the picture, not before I wipe the melted popsicle mess off my face. After we take a few, Adrienne gives me a tight hug and runs away smiling.

"You're like, actually famous," Ella says incredulously as we make our way back home, this time walking instead of running.

"It's so stupid," I comment. "I didn't do anything. I'm only famous because of the man I'm dating. This is never ..."

"Spare me the feminist speech, Sojourner Truth," Ella intervenes. "Sure, you got thrust into the spotlight because you're dating America's Most Desirable. But you're in the spotlight, and as your friend, I know you've got a lot to say. So why don't you use your platform to actually say it?"

I stop walking and stare at Ella. This whole time, I've been feeling as though the media and this crazy lifestyle has taken over my life, forced me into a role that I don't identify with, made me out to be a gold-digging, brainless leech when I'm anything but. I've felt so overwhelmed, so nauseated by the entire process, that I wanted nothing to do with the limelight. But Ella's right. All of the sudden I have a voice, a real voice that people can hear, that can inspire and invoke change. I hug Ella fiercely.

"Uh, I love you dude, but what is this for?" She asks, confused.

"For reminding me who I am."