Spotlight on Nobody

- 12 -

~ song: My My My! by Troye Sivan ~

The stage floor pulses beneath my feet and the foam plugs I have shoved in my ears do little to block the heavy bass from shattering my eardrums. Red lights rise and fall to the rhythm of the drums, the lighted sign reading RUBY flashing brightly along the back wall of the stage. People rush around me, yelling into headsets, pushing all sorts of buttons, carrying water bottles and clothes for Leo to change into – it's organized chaos. Neatly tucked away on stage left, close enough to the front that I can see the beads of sweat fly from Leo's hair every time he jumps to the sound of his own music, I'm pretty sure I haven't stopped smiling for the past hour.

I look out into the Allstate Arena, squinting through the lights to try and find the back of the venue, but failing. I've never been to a concert this big, let alone stood backstage at one. The flashes from literally thousands of phones do their best to blind me as they capture Leo to have for always and forever on their camera roll. A jealous bubble rises in me – angry that everyone think Leo is theirs to have – but I push it down, because he certainly isn't mine.

As I was waiting to board my flight back in Philadelphia, an overpriced airport stand was selling disposable cameras and, instinctively, I bought one. Now I'm glad I did. My phone has stayed tucked away in my back pocket all night, and I've been snapping the occasional picture of Leo when he walks close enough to my side of the stage. The photos will probably turn out underexposed and out of focus, but I'm grateful to not be on my phone. I'm sure it's blowing up with texts from Ella and Grace, the only people I told about this.

A recognizable drum beat begins the next song, and glancing at the set list, I see this is the last one. As Leo begins the first verse in a husky, low voice, I start singing along, quite loud, though I'm sure no one else can hear. As the song builds, I find myself singing louder and louder, jumping and twirling to the music on the side, getting lost in the high I've been feeling all night. My hands raised above my head and my hair whipping across my face, I'm sure I look crazed, but I feel alive. Leo looks over to me and sings the last chorus, never breaking eye contact. I can feel the butterflies rising in my throat, escaping every time I sing another line, only to be replaced again as Leo deepens his gaze.

She found her way to me

A beacon on the beach when I'm lost at sea

Hold me tightly baby and in your eyes

I can see the stars, I can see the sky

The song finishes and the lights cut, leaving only RUBY to cast the stage in a deep red glow. Panting, I tilt my head back and close my eyes, the roar of the crowd lifting me up from all sides. The feeling is magical, and I can see how it could be addictive – I'm not sure anything could feel better than thousands of people screaming out for you, needing you.

A warm hand cups the side of my face and I open my eyes to Leo's, only inches from me. He too is panting, his hair damp from sweat and his cheeks rosy, but damn he looks beautiful. I want to snap a grainy photo to immortalize him in this moment. His green eyes glint with something I can't interpret until I look down at his mouth, set in a crooked smirk. Before I can congratulate him on an amazing show, he's putting other hand around my waist and our lips collide.

My momentary surprise gives into longing, and I wrap my hands around the back of his neck, threading my fingers through his damp hair, pulling him closer to me as I deepen the kiss. His lips are exactly how I imagined (because yes, I imagined kissing him a hundred times in the past week) – soft and deft, quickly synching with mine so that our lips never part. I open my mouth, letting his tongue softly glide against my bottom lip. Before I completely melt into him, I feel him pull away.

Leo laughs at the frown that forms on my face. "I've got an encore," he chuckles, and he slowly walks backwards, dropping my hand at the last possible moment. Only then do I hear the rhythmic chanting coming from the stadium. Encore, encore, encore. He keeps walking backwards, holding my gaze until he reaches the very edge of the stage. Flashing me a happy smile and a wink, he turns and runs out onto the stage, the cheering becoming deafening, but all I can think is Leo Griffiths just kissed me.