i sat there crying for half an hour. it is time to suck it up and get out of here. i got dressed and wiped my face with water. it hurts so bad to walk. i'm scared to leave the room. he's out there somewhere. i'm too high for this shit. i opened the door and went downstairs as fast as i could. i looked for anthony all over. fuckfuckfuck. i went to the bathroom texted anthony. i grabbed my bag and sat on the floor waiting for a text back. fuck this. i went outside and made sure to stay close to a group of people. boy and girls. i called chance, he picked up pretty fast.
maddie; hey chance, can you drive me home?
chance; uh, yeah. where are you?
maddie; at a party. are you here too?
chance; yeahhh, i'll come to you. i see you.
he ended the call and i felt his hand go on my shoulder, i jumped at the touch of it. and started breathing heavily. he looked confused.
chance; are you good?
maddie; um.. i'm just.. too high for this.
i gave off a nervous laugh and a small fake smile. he shrugged.
chance; well i can drive you home, i barely drank.
maddie; are you sure? i can uber home.
he smiled and nodded.
chance; i promise you, i had one drink. i wasn't really wanting to get shit faced tonight.
he laughed, i fake laughed along with it. he grabbed my hand, i quickly pulled away.
maddie; sorry- let's get out of here. please?
he nodded and i followed him to his car. we got in and started driving. i started out the window.
maddie; drop me off at anthony's please.
chance; why his house? did something happen at the party you wanna talk about?
i quickly looked at him, he can't know about this or even think anything happened.
maddie; what? nonono- nothing happened! i'm fine chance.. i live there now so..
chance; okayokay, just talk to me tomorrow about why. okay?
maddie; okay, bye. thank you.
he pulled up into his driveway. i got out quickly and made my way inside fast. i went upstairs then closed my door, locking it. i fell onto the floor, sobbing. i'm so lost. i feel so fucking lost.
- next day -
bang bang.
maddie; what?
i looked around to see i was on the floor. my face felt sticky, i cried myself to sleep last night. i didn't forget at all what happened last night either.
anthony; madison, i've been trying to wake you up for thirty minutes now. open the door.
maddie; i-i'm naked.
i gulped and started taking deep breaths. why the fuck am i freaking out? he groaned.
anthony; just come in my room when you're changed, i need to talk.
maddie; okay.
i got up. it still hurt terribly. i walked into the bathroom which was connected to my room. i looked at myself in the mirror and started crying again. i looked away from the mirror. i can't stand to look at myself, it brings every sound, every moment, every cry for help back to my head. i got undressed and got in the shower. my body was all bruised up. it hurt to look at it. after a long shower of crying and looking at my body, i got out and put leggings on and one of anthony's sweatshirts. my goal is to hide my body so no one sees. i brushed my hair and tried to look presentable. my eyes were puffy as fuck. i'll just say i smoked a little this morning. okay, you got this madison.
