maddie pov;
i cried harder and harder as he stroke. his hand wrapped around my neck choking me. my lips shuddered, i closes my eyes wishing for nothing. i wish i couldn't feel right now. he got off of me and came all over me. i sobbed harder.
rapist; shut the fuck up and go home, mamas.
he had a deep voice, it seemed off to me. maybe a fake voice, a cover up. i started dressing myself the best i could. i was shaking uncontrollably. i stood up.
maddie; where am i? i have no clue how to get home.
he looked at me. he wore a mask, hiding all of his face except for his mouth and dark brown eyes. he chuckled.
rapist; i'm not your fucking uber. use your phone, whore.
i shook my head and found my way out the house. the house was small, very empty. the front yard was trashed. i wanted to take a picture of the address and tell someone everything. i couldn't. i know it would bite me in the ass. i searched up my address and started walking. i thought about everything for the twenty minute walk. i walked inside to anthony sitting on the stairs. fuck, i look so terrible right now. he can have no thought that something is wrong right now. we made eye contact.
anthony; madison. where- what's the matter? please. talk to me mads.
he stood up and approached me. i became short of breath and backed away a little. i rubbed my eyes. he looked so concern, scared. he studied my face.
anthony; maddie. you need to tell me what's wrong. you know i'm here for you.
he walked closer and i backed up into the front door. i closed my eyes, my sadness left my body. i sobbed. i've never felt this empty. this broken. i felt his arms wrap around me like no one could ever get to me from here. i pulled away though.
maddie; i'm sorry anthony. i just...
i looked down trying to figure out an excuse. a believable one.
maddie; i miss my mom. i feel bad for leaving for some reason.
anthony; madison im so sorry she put you through this. it's for the best though and you know that.
i nodded my head and gave him a small reassuring smile.
maddie; i know, thank you for everything.
anthony; we're gonna get you back on track, okay? you're going to school for real and we're gonna hangout all the time.
maybe this will be for the best. it might help me with the biggest problem of my life. he's right though, i need to stop being this way and get over this rape shit.
maddie; okay, i'm gonna go shower.
he nodded and headed towards the kitchen. i began walking up the stairs, glancing at his moms room. she has xanax in her cabinets. she has serve anxiety. it wouldn't hurt if i took some. i walked to her door which was opened and went to the bathroom. i searched her cabinets, reading every medicine bottle till i found them. i opened it and dropped a good bit in my hand then left her room as fast as possible.
i was laying in my bath tub as i popped my first xanax since i has my withdrawal. i knew my addiction was starting up again. there's no "buts" to this. i'm fucking my life up. these are the only things that can help me. i closed my eyes sinking into the water. i took a deep breath then tears flew out my eyes, i began sobbing quietly. this is not new anymore.
