i went to anthony's room and sat down by him on his bed. i avoided eye contact at all cost. i was scared to sit too close to him cause i'm honestly scared to feel someone else's touch on me. my heart started beating fast, calm down. calm down. it's okay.
anthony; are you okay?
i looked at him for a couple seconds then back at the wall.
maddie; yeah, um.. what did you wanna talk about?
anthony; madison.
maddie; yeah?
i bit my lip slightly. don't get nervous, fucking dumbass. anthony placed his hand on my thigh. i flinched causing him to pull back fast.
maddie; fuck, y-you scared me!
i fake laughed it off. he gave me a confused look.
anthony; are you high or something?
i looked at him and smiled slightly, fake of course. i have no reason to smile or laugh for a long time.
maddie; i smoked a lil this morning.
he nodded, still obviously confused.
anthony; well, i wanted to tell you about emily.
maddie; oh.. okay.
emily literally doesn't fucking matter to me anymore. i swear i have something else to think about.
anthony; i'm dating her, uh..
he scratched the back of his neck.
anthony; i just think it'd be best for us.
maddie: us?
he cleared his throat. he does that when he doesn't know what to say sometimes.
anthony; yeah, i mean.. i really don't know if we were ever gonna date. things kept popping up. i just decided to look for someone else. i hope you understand, mads. seriously.
i looked at him and gave a reassuring fake smile. i don't think he can tell it's fake though, i pray to everyone he doesn't.
maddie; i understand, i mean that too. you're right. for now, it's what we need.
anthony; i'm glad you understand.
he smiled and came in for a hug but i quickly stood up.
maddie; i, um.. gonna go to my room.
he looked lost. i would to, this whole thing is.. a mess. a lost, lost. mess.
anthony; okay?
i turned around and went into my room, locking the door. i laid on my bed. tears just started flowing out. i feel so broken and hurt right now. by everything. my mom, my anthony, my rapist. i shoved my head into my pillowing, sobbing everything away. or at least trying to.
anthony pov;
anthony; i don't know bro, something is just not right.
billy; that makes no sense bro.
billy said as he rolled a blunt, making sure it was perfect.
jake; billy bro, are you sure your dad won't come in? i don't wanna get caught.
billy; shut the fuck up! we'll be fine.
i looked down. i don't even know anymore. i need to fix something. just what the fuck is it.
billy; tony, first hit. you're thinking bout too much.
anthony; something is up with madison, of course i am.
i took the blunt from him, lighting it as i put it in my mouth.
jake; you're dating emily bro, stop thinking about maddie.
i shook my head as i exhaled the smoke.
anthony; you guys don't understand. she's.. she's fucking hurt right now. i can tell.
i handed the blunt to billy, exhaling.
billy; nobody would mess with maddie and you know that. she's probably hurt because of you dating emily.
jake; billy has a good point.
they're right. the only person who has a problem and would do something to madison is sofia. i know she would tell me right away if sofia did anything to her. so this is my mess and i need to fix it.
anthony; i'm breaking up with emily.
jake started busting out laughing causing a bunch of smoke to come out his mouth.
jake; I KNEW THEY WOULDNT LAST A WEEK! GIVE ME MY TEN DOLLARS BILLY GOAT.
billy groaned loudly and stuck his hand into his pocket. he pulled out two fives and threw it to jakes face.
billy; shut up.
i laughed.
anthony; i can't believe you guys would bet on that. i love you guys.
