✓ [18+] WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL

XXII. Hi, My Name Is Heather And I'm An Alcoholic

A/N: Remember to vote, comment, and follow for updates!

———
XXII. Hi, My Name Is Heather And I'm An Alcoholic

Carter and I spent his time off together, wrapped in each other's arms. Most of the time we were being intimate with one another but there was times where we just laid in bed and talked with one another. He told me about his home town and how life was for him growing up. I felt bad that he lost his mom at a young age and was left alone with an abusive, alcoholic father. Yes, I lost my dad at a young age but I had my brother and a loving mom to help ease the pain. I was happy though to hear that he rekindled his relationship with his father once he got sober and even forgave him before he passed away. It's always hard losing someone before making amends.

He even told me about his relationship with his ex and how psycho, controlling, and demeaning she was to him. I could tell that just by my encounter with her at the shop. Sadly, that's proof that not only women go through domestic abuse, but so do men. Carter is such a good man, I couldn't picture why anyone would want to treat him like shit. Then again, I thought the same thing about Bex and look what happened to her with her ex-husband. Thankfully, both of them came out on top.

By the time I had to leave so he could get ready for work, I didn't want to go. I found myself wanting to latch on to him and never leave his side. He drove me home and kissed me deeply before I got out of the car, letting me know he didn't want to separate either. I watch him as he drives away towards work where he selflessly runs into a burning building, when everyone is running out. He's like my very own Superman. I smile, feeling the butterflies flutter in my stomach.

As I'm standing by the steps of the front porch, my brother comes walking over from their house and puts an arm around my shoulders, smiling down at me. I can tell by his behavior that he's truly happy for me.

"So when are you going to give that man a chance and quit playing hard to get?" he jokes with me.

"I don't know. Eventually I will. I just need more time," I shrug and Nate shakes his head in annoyance.

"Hev, what do you need more time for? For Bryan? That mother fucker doesn't deserve your time or your heart again. I can't believe you'd be thinking about getting back with him after everything he did and said," he scolds me and I start to laugh at my protective big brother.

"I'm not waiting for him Nate. I'm officially over him. I've cried enough tears over that boy. I just want to be right in my head before I move forward with Carter. I don't want to go into a relationship with him comparing every little thing he does to Bryan. I know he's nothing like him but it's hard to not think that way when you get hurt like that," I confess and my brother looks down at me with a proud smile.

"Okay good, because I really like Carter. He's one hell of a guy and he's done a lot for you since you've met. You might not have noticed it yet, but everyone else has. When you find someone who brings out the absolute best in you, never let them go. Don't pull the same mistake I did with Bex," he hugs me and I instantly feel better about my feelings for Carter.

Everything my brother has said is true. Carter is an amazing man and he has brought me out of my funk I was in. Being with him, makes me want to be better and get back on track. It makes me want to get sober.

I look up at my brother and think about how he was when he was battling his demons for years at the bottom of the bottle. It took his son needing a father, because the mother was worthless, and losing his best friend for him to finally put the bottle down. He's been sober for almost seven years now and I couldn't be prouder of him. I know I haven't been drinking as long as he did, but I'm sure if I don't stop, I'll get there. Deep down I've been using it as a crutch and it's not healthy. I need to learn how to cope with things without reverting back to that. Deciding to become sober will be a life long battle of fighting my addiction.

Knowing I'll need help and can't do this alone, I step away from my brothers embrace and look him in the eyes. I can feel the emotion bottling up as my eyes start to water. He looks down at me with concern and that's when I finally open up to the one man in my life, aside from my late father, that's never let me down.

"Nate, there's something I need to talk to you about," I finally spit out after taking multiple deep breaths.

I recount with my brother about how I've been abusing alcohol for the last three months and would go through the big bottle of Jack until I passed out. I tell him about my cravings for it as soon as I woke up in the mornings. He listens intently as I continue to explain how I drove drunk one night to get more and that thankfully Carter stopped me before I drove back home. I can see the disappointment in his eyes but he doesn't speak. I even spill how Carter has helped me with not needing to drink, that as long as I'm with him, I don't get the urge, but I'm also afraid that using Carter isn't healthy either. I'm replacing one addiction with another.

I plead with him for help, the help that I need to get better. I explain that I'm terrified that I'll get back into it once something bad comes up. I need my brother to help me, to show me, to tell me, what it is I need to do to get sober and remain sober. Nate looks down at me with tears in his brown eyes and wraps me up in his arms. He begins to sob and I join in with him, gripping onto the comfort of my big brothers hug.

"God Hev I'm so sorry. I didn't even notice what was going on and I'm your brother. I'm also an addict and an alcoholic, I should've known the signs. I should've reached out to help you months ago," he sobs and I gently rub my hand on his back, comforting him through his guilt.

"It's not your fault Nate. It wouldn't have mattered then anyways. I wasn't ready then. All it would've done was caused a big fight. But I need your help now Nate. I don't know what to do," I cry and he wraps his arms around me tighter.

"It's okay Hev, we will get through this. You have all of us, even Carter that will help you get back on track. It'll be an uphill battle but you'll come out on top sweetie, you're a Daniels for Christ sakes," he smirks down at me, gently rubbing his hands on my arms.

"You're strong enough to overcome anything if you put your mind and heart into it."

In that moment, with my brother's encouraging words, I'm ready to face my demons head on. At this moment, I'm putting down the bottle forever, and I don't plan on picking it back up.