**General warning that this will contain spoilers so don't read if you haven't read the book or seen the film yet! Some dialog and scenes are from the film, most are made up or changed to suit the story.**
My name is Richie Tozier and I guess you could say I'm a loser. I have a great job and earn a lot of money, sure, but I don't have any friends and can't keep a girlfriend for the life of me. Maybe it's because I don't take anything seriously, maybe it's because I get on people's nerves, maybe it's because I've pretended to be someone I'm not since I was a kid.
The truth is; I'm gay. I've known that since I was 14-when I was changing for P.E. at school and glanced at the boys around me with a lot more interest than I'd like to admit. I'd felt sick for the rest of the week.
Over the years I'd hidden it well. No one suspected a thing and, if I'm being honest, I barely even thought about it. It was like I'd suppressed it and hardly even remembered that moment in the changing room all those years ago... That was until Mike called.
And now I'm sitting in my car outside 'Jade of The Orient' getting ready to see all the friends I'd completely forgotten about up until yesterday... and I felt sicker than ever. I'd already thrown up twice that day and my stomach felt empty and tight. I went to get out of the car and had to stop as I put a shaking hand on the door handle and I felt a nauseating stir in my belly. It passed after a few moments and I stepped out quickly and pressed forward, not giving myself a chance to turn back.
I went inside and saw my friends already there and I bit down on my tongue as emotions suddenly tore through my body. I was frozen in fear but at the same time completely overjoyed to see the old faces. I took a deep breath before stepping up to them, and their faces beamed as they saw me. I slapped on the biggest grin I could summon and greeted everyone warmly, stopping at Eddie. He had grown so much! His childish features were now handsome, but he was smiling at me with the same friendship we'd lost twenty seven years ago. He hugged me tightly and I did the same-out of politeness at first-but as I wrapped my arms around him I felt the comfort sink in. This man was my friend... My best friend... How had I forgotten him so easily?
He pulled away to look me in the eye, "Hey, Richie."
"Hey Eds, you're looking more like your mother every day," I raised an eyebrow, "maybe an anorexic version."
"Anorexic?" He faked shock, "I've been working hard to get this body!"
"Sure you have," I laughed and I hugged him again, "I've missed you, man."
"Yeah, you too Rich."
We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment and I sighed, continuing in a hushed tone, "I don't know why I said that... I couldn't remember you guys at all before yesterday... I think I've been working too hard."
Eddie frowned, "actually... I don't remember either. I didn't know who Mike was when he called... Bill said he didn't either. I couldn't even remember what my old house looked like. Why do you think that is?"
I shrugged, hiding my concern with a blank expression, "Maybe we were all molested as kids and have blocked it out."
He snorted a laugh and pushed my arm playfully, if any of us were molested it would have been by you."
"What can I say, it's just who I am."
His eyes held mine for a moment, a smirk curling one corner of his mouth, "I can't believe I forgot you, I've missed your bad jokes."
"Jokes on you, I'm a pretty successful comedian now."
"People laugh at anything these days..."
"Fuck you," I finally laughed and he did the same.
"Hey, I think I saw you on tv last weekend," Bill interrupted us.
"Yeah, I do a few appearances here and there."
"Funny, I thought I'd seen you somewhere before. I didn't recognize you, everyone's changed so much."
"Yeah, especially Haystack... what the fuck happened? If I knew puberty worked that well I would have tried it years ago."
Bill laughed and clapped me on the back, "You haven't changed a bit."
"Exactly my point."
"If everyone would like to sit down, we can start on the food," Mike announced and we all took our places round the table.
