It must have been almost 3am when I woke up to use the bathroom, and I crept put of my room. I was still terrified that Pennywise could pop up at any moment so I moved quickly, went to the toilet and then darted back to my room. I was about to close my door when I heard noises coming from Eddie's room. It sounded a little like groaning and I knocked lightly on the door, "you okay in there, Eds?"
There was a moment before the door swung inwards and Eddie stood swaying in the doorway.
"What's up? Are you okay? You look like shit."
"My face is killing me," he slurred and I realised that he'd been drinking, "it feels like it's on fire."
"Let me come in, I'll clean it up for you."
He stood aside and I walked into his room and shut the door.
"You haven't puked, have you? Fuck cleaning that out of your cheek hole."
He laughed at that, but after a moment the laughter turned to sobs and I sat him on his bed.
"Hey what's the matter? Does it hurt that bad?"
He nodded a little, "it really fucking hurts... but I'm scared too."
"Me too. But we can go home tomorrow, right?"
"If we do that then imagine the amount of kids that are gonna die because of us... this is our duty, we have to kill the clown."
"This is not our problem anymore," I said sternly, "we aren't little kids anymore."
"Of course it's our problem, we made an oath. The kids that die from now on are on us."
"That's not true..." I muttered but I knew he was right. I'd be guilty if I left them to the at the hands of Pennywise now.
"Maybe... maybe we just go home and... and we'll forget about all of this again."
He frowned at me, "You... you'd want to forget? About us all? About me...?"
"No, I don't want to forget you all... I don't... I just think that we need to leave. Nothing good is going to happen here, we'll end up dying."
"I don't want to forget you guys again."
I looked into his eyes and noticed that he looked overwhelmingly sad. He blinked slowly before he continued.
"I feel like I belong with you guys. At home I've always felt like I'm lost... like I don't have a purpose... but now I'm back here I... I just feel like this is where I'm supposed to be."
"Me too," I admitted, "but I'm too scared to stay."
"You let me in on your secret, didn't you? You told me something that you have never told anyone... That's brave isn't it? You're a damn site braver than I am, Richie, you know that."
"I don't feel it right now. I just want to get away. I'm scared to even walk around the house on my own right now."
"Then stay in here with me. We'll look after each other."
I shrugged, pretending I could take or leave the offer, but I didn't want to go back on my own, "alright."
He got into his double bed and patted the spot next to him, "don't tell me you're shy now, Rich?"
I shook my head, "I'm not shy, I'm just worried I'll catch something from your bed sheets."
He laughed and patted the bed again, so I leaned back against the pillow next to him. I was wearing my boxer shorts so I felt a bit strange getting in bed with him, but it beat going back into the room where I saw Pennywise so I just ignored it.
He shuffled down, a smirk across his broken face, and giggled.
"What's the matter with you, boozy?"
"Just funny that Richie Tozier is in my bed."
"Sorry, I know you prefer the people in your bedroom with a bit more meat on their bones," I gestured having a large stomach and Eddie half smiled.
"You know... I really don't like that."
"What, fat people?"
"Not just that, I don't love my wife... I don't find her attractive... it's just that my mother liked her and she does a lot for me, I felt bad for saying no to a second date... and it escalated from there."
"So you're married to someone you don't love? Eds, how can you live like that?"
He shrugged, "like I said... I don't feel like I belong there. I feel like I belong here..."
I scoffed, "what? In bed with me?"
He laughed loudly but soon stopped when the bandage on his cheek slipped and his face contorted with pain. His face screwed up and I instinctively moved closer and put my hand up to his face, gently pushing the tape against his skin again. He opened his eyes slowly and looked into mine. It was weird how his eyes hadn't changed over the years... the dark, troubled globes that always seemed to be searching for help.
I remembered how I felt when we were kids now. I was always there for him, always protecting him, and always wanting to be near him. I swallowed heavily as I looked down to his lips.
"You okay, Richie?" He snapped me out of my daze and I forced a smile.
"Yeah, yeah... sorry I think I'm over tired.
"Then let's get some rest. Tomorrow's gonna be a tough day."
I nodded and shuffled down to get comfortable and Eddie did the same.
Around 30 seconds passed before Eddie turned over to face me.
"Why did you hang around with me when we were kids?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... I was such a dweeb. I was scared of my own shadow most of the time and you were so outgoing... I guess not a lot has changed."
"You weren't a dweeb, Eds. You were my best friend... you were funny, kind and actually pretty smart. You cared for us all."
"You think I was important to the group?"
"You still are, dipshit, you're like the second best one... after me of course..."
He smiled softly, "Thanks, Richie..." he slowly closed his eyes and sighed. When I was sure he was asleep I leaned towards him and gently placed my lips against his forehead. I pulled away and settled down facing him.
I didn't want to leave him.
I never did.
