We had a great weekend just the three of us but it had gone so quickly. Bev was getting her bags packed and we had been to collect Eddie's belongings from his place. He hadn't wanted to argue with Myra about who really owned the house seeing as he had the money to move somewhere quieter.
I'd told him that he should stick up for himself... but this was Eddie Kaspbrack after all...
I said he could stay at mine and he'd accepted the offer.
"We'll all meet up really soon, okay?" Bev smiled as she hugged me.
"I know we will," I smiled as she hugged Eddie too.
We waved her goodbye as her Taxi drove off and Eddie and I started to pack my belongings from the inn the car.
"You're packing this all wrong," Eddie complained.
"What are you talking about? I'm putting the bags in the car, how is that wrong?"
"You should put the clothes at the bottom and the most fragile stuff on top, that way things don't get broken, idiot."
"If you're so good at packing, you do it."
He nudged me out of the way and started to rearrange the bags and I smirked, "how the fuck are we going to put up with each other every day?"
"We managed it when we were kids, didn't we?" He teased.
"Yeah but we weren't living in the same house. We could end up killing each other by the end of the week."
"I don't doubt it," he glanced back at me with a playful smile and I had to look away before I blushed.
"Are you fucking done yet? I want to get going."
"Don't pressure me."
I stepped up close behind him and peered over his shoulder, "pressure you? I'm not pressuring you."
"Dude, you're breathing down my neck."
"I don't know what you mean," I stood even closer and he batted me away.
"If you did it right in the first place I wouldn't have to be rearranging it all!"
I chuckled under my breath and left him to it, wandering to the front of the car to lean on the hood.
I looked at my surroundings and felt strangely sad about leaving. Now that the memories from my childhood had come back I felt more of a connection to Derry, it just felt like it had more a lot of importance to me now.
After a few minutes, Eddie wandered over and leaned on the hood next to me.
"What's the matter?"
I shook my head, "oh nothing... I just feel like I'll miss this place once we go."
"We can visit. You know Mike will be nagging us to come see him sooner or later."
I smiled at him, "Yeah I know... do you think Stan would have visited us too?"
Eddie was quiet for a moment, "Yeah. Yeah I'm sure he would have."
"I wonder what he was like as an adult. I wonder if he still had that stupid hair cut."
He laughed a little, "I bet he did. He never liked change."
Eddie looked down at my hand before taking it in his and I looked down too, "I wish he'd have come home and not... you know... maybe we could have helped him."
"He was scared from the start, we couldn't have done anything. To be honest he would have probably gotten us all killed."
Eddie looked serious and his eyes looked up into mine, "I... I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was scared down there too and... I almost let you die. I don't know if I could have lived with myself..."
I turned to face him and rested my hand on his cheek, "it's not your fault, Eds. I didn't blame you, I know you're a pussy."
I tried to joke but he wasn't in the mood. I sighed, "don't feel bad. We're okay, aren't we? We got out?"
"Yeah no thanks to me."
"Hey," I took both of his hands in mine, "don't beat yourself up about it. It was all so fucked up, I was scared too."
"But you didn't leave me to get hurt."
"Eddie..."
"Its true, I literally stood there watching you get attacked by that... thing-"
"Eds," I held his face between my hands until the panic left his eyes and smiled reassuringly, "it's okay, we're out of there. We are alive, okay? That's all that matters."
"I just... I want you to know that I would do anything for you, Rich... I really would. I don't want you to think I wouldn't."
"I know," I grinned, "don't be ridiculous. We were always there for each other when we were kids, why would that change? You don't need to be strong all the time, that's just being a human being. And you went down there and stood up to Pennywise."
"After you had to convince me."
"So? You still did it. I'm proud of you."
He looked away, "I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before."
I put an arm around him and kissed him on the cheek, "well I'm saying it now. I'm really proud of you Eds."
He looked at me and smiled thinly, "thanks, Rich."
"Don't mention it, fucknuts."
"You always find a way to ruin it," he laughed.
"Its what I do best," I smiled and he rested his head under my chin.
"Can we go? I can't stop thinking about Stan."
"Of course," I kissed him on the head and he smiled softly up at me.
I felt my heart skip a beat just looking at him, so looked at the floor, "Eddie I need to tell you something... and I don't want to embarrass myself by saying it because it's... not easy for me to say... after everything-"
"I love you too, Rich," Eddie smirked and I took a breath, feeling too many different emotions to even begin to process.
"This is awkward... I mean, I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down..." I said as flatly as I could manage and Eddie laughed before hugging me tightly.
"Shut the fuck up, idiot."
"Okay," I closed my eyes and for the first time in my whole life, I felt like I'd actually found what I'd been looking for.
"Let's go," he looked up at me and kissed me softly on the lips and I smiled against him.
"Okay," I said again and forced myself to let him go before both of us got into the car to head home.
